I had written a blog some time back, and a friend who has started following my blogs recently, started discussing my blog. And the conclusion we came to was, every human being needs a company to live, to survive in life.
Well I met this friend by chance, we spoke by chance and it landed into a unique friendship.This person suddenly pinged me one day saying, “ mujhe aapko kuch sunana hai, whenever you are free tell me, we will catch up.” I became so inquisitive that I gave a call, coming for a coffee? I want the surprise now. And we met, and he introduced me to yaad sheher by nilesh misra.
And whenever I would come home tired and laptop would be given to me by my sister (which is very rare), I listen to yaad sheher.
Today lavi is traveling to Delhi, so laptop is all mine. I started listening to yaad sheher.
And today story was very unique on shayar on call. I used to call a friend shayar on message during my college days, and there was a time when we friends used to talk only in shayari language. Don’t know how they used to be, but it was fun. Professor would be taking class and we would be thinking shayari and typing them. So I wanted to hear this episode of yaad sheher.
So few lines of the episode that made me wonder.
1. Chehre sach kahen na kahe, aawaz sach keh deti(face may lie but voice says the truth)
2. Rishta aawaz ka!koi silsila nahi awaz ke alwa, kal jaane yeh rishta rahe na rahe.(a relationship with voice, and nothing else, and you never know if this will remain after this or not)
3. Phone call jo tanhayi bharte the, wooh ab shor lagne lage the. (A call / voice which used to fulfill the loneliness once, has become noise now)
4. Chale jaane ko kaha, chup chali gayi.(I told her to go, and she went quiet forever)
5. Tum who samundar jo, jisme har sach chupa hai,(you are the sea, which has hidden all the secrets)
6. Pata nahi kisse dhund raha hoon. (I don’t know whom I am searching)
My wandering thoughts on the same :-)
A face may lie but not the voice. What if I haven’t ever seen the person? What do I make out of the voice. And at the times dil aur dimag ke beech ek aise kashmakash hoti hai ki aksar dil jeeta hai, and when the heart wins over the mind, it can sense every word of what a person wants to say even if not said. And even you hate the words, the heart forces you to listen to the voice. Its easier to forget a person’s face, but not the voice, the voice can haunt you in dreams so much that it is difficult to be recalled what it said in dreams unlike a dream with a picture with a series of event in which I can recollect what has happened after what. I used to think it’s the wavelength with the person that brings the comfort level while talking but after hearing to call on shayar, I am wondering it is the wavelength or the voice that makes the difference.
So that means we can say, its not the person to whom relate to but the voice. Well yes I agree to this because at times the excitement in a person triggers my excitement level too and vice versa. So in the beginning what I said we need company or friends to live, to survive, is that company in person or someone to whom we can speak our thoughts. Well I have faced some unique situations in my life, that people may not know what is happening in my life and there would be a person whom I would just pick up the phone, call and tell everything just by saying, don’t give me your comments, let me speak, in the end I will myself find the solutions.
But while doing this, we need to realize that at times the person to whom I spoke to once, may today need me, and that should not be the moment that I should feel his/her voice is a noise. Imagine there was a time, when I spoke, I laughed because I wanted you to laugh, I cried because you cried, I shared your loneliness, although you did share my happiness, but today when I wanted to hear a voice, to change my mood, or share to my mood, I didn’t get the voice that I wanted rather one reluctant response? what would happen then? Then occurs a heart-mind fights and it is sure that mind will win. So contrary, when heart wins, voice and tone and words what’s not said is also understood, but when we don’t get the voice, tone or the words wanted, the mind wins!
And when the series of events has occurred, the voice has given the reluctant response, conveying me to go away from my life, or at times people say it clearly to go away from life and the life which was life for us, leaves us. The voice, which was the life, leaves us.
Then the thought process begins, the words bangs on the head, which were spoken, the tone, the laugh, the cribbing, the crying or whatever it would have been. And I recalled the scene from Dhobi ghat, where the person writes something in the mud and the moment waves come; everything is washed away, yet the waves contains all the secret. And this voice becomes the sea for us.
And finally the voice leaves us. What am I searching in life? The person? The voice? Or the wave? I don’t know what I am searching? Or is it another voice that I am searching for the series of the events to take place? Or am I dreaming just another dream in which I heard a voice, and trying to recall what it said?
Friday, March 25, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Life has to go on!
I wanted to do some thing new, thought to open my account in twitter, well I guess since the time social networking sites have come, we have switched to next as and when time moves ahead.
During my graduation I joined orkut, believe me first spelling I had typed to search orkut was aurkut, someone spelled that ways I got it half and decided to search. Then I joined facebook in my post graduation, in first year, I didn’t understand wasn’t operating the account much and focus was on orkut, yet I managed to open at times and understand, then as and when all my friends joined facebook, I understood, how it works and it became a daily routine, at times it also was an addiction, I guess addiction to orkut was more, and facebook was just to know what’s happening with friends, but not so keen about things.
Then today when I was going through the tweets learning how twitter works, came across an interesting article, of a person separated from a person very close to her, and how she tries to overcome the person, I guess it was a break up and she tries all possible methods to forget him, wondering why did he leave her. I was really stressed out reading until I read the last line which stated “ he gave me the best gift to me finally, he gifted me to myself” which bought in smiles on my face.
I wonder at times, we get so obsessed with things and people that we tend to forget ourselves, but at the same time, we change ourselves so much for the person that it becomes to find one’s real self after few years of time, the slang’s, the habits, the routine, is all used to according to people that it is difficult to change. I wonder how difficult it is to digest a fact that a person very close to you is dead, as that also ends up all the hopes of going back or getting back the person again in your life.
I have a strong faith in god so everything that I do, I believe “god made me do that”, well that’s a good excuse, but that applicable when good as well as the bad things happens, I can never say I am the reason of it, so I often land up asking god, when people are to be separated, why do they meet in life, when I have to be dead one day, why was I born? When I have to quit some thing, why at the first go, I did it, and not realizing that I cant sustain myself, that’s applicable for a job, for making friends and everything in life.
Often people say “ change is the only constant”, easy to say, difficult to understand, change for good, is acceptable, change for bad is not acceptable, when it had to change, why did it happen is what I wonder. The intensity of the change also makes a bigger difference, there are some changes in life, which is irreversible, and getting adapted to change is another face of concept. Level of adaptability differs from every individual, it easy for a person to break up and say “ I am breaking up” as the person can adapt to the change and accept it as soon as the things happen, but at the same time, it may not be by other person as in the case of the article I read.
But at the same time, positive attitude plays a huge role in lives. Optimism and pessimism, person who breaks up is pessimist, as they are sure that they cant go ahead with this, or rather their pessimistic attitude makes them feel so, and the one deals with it is highly optimistic as they have hopes to build, they search happiness in the broken relationship, remembering the happy memories and time spent together. They have their own expectation; they still want the happiness of the other person, so on and so forth. So I believe who faces the breaks in life has more courage and faith towards life, which will bring them up than those who run away from commitments and responsibilities.
Beyond this all there is another thought that’s going on my mind is, when I have to give my approval for a change to happen, then how do I deal with it. For example, when a person relocates for a job, willingly or due to circumstances, when a person is going to say yes for a person to get married to realizing that one has to spend their lifetime with them, without even knowing how the person will be, when a person has to leave the passion willingly because they want to do it for someone beloved, or when one has to part from another person for the happiness of the person like a mother sends a child to school, knowing the insecurities child will face in school, but she knows its for the child’s life. How do I approve for things, which I don’t want to happen?
So finally three situations arise,
1) Things happen because of someone else
2) Things happened which could not be stopped by anyone but the supreme power
3) Things happened because we approved for it
I believe the worst is the third situation, but as I said in my first paragraph, we have to move on with time, like I changed from orkut to facebook and twitter, I have to move on in life, and I have to approve for things, because life has to go on!!!!
During my graduation I joined orkut, believe me first spelling I had typed to search orkut was aurkut, someone spelled that ways I got it half and decided to search. Then I joined facebook in my post graduation, in first year, I didn’t understand wasn’t operating the account much and focus was on orkut, yet I managed to open at times and understand, then as and when all my friends joined facebook, I understood, how it works and it became a daily routine, at times it also was an addiction, I guess addiction to orkut was more, and facebook was just to know what’s happening with friends, but not so keen about things.
Then today when I was going through the tweets learning how twitter works, came across an interesting article, of a person separated from a person very close to her, and how she tries to overcome the person, I guess it was a break up and she tries all possible methods to forget him, wondering why did he leave her. I was really stressed out reading until I read the last line which stated “ he gave me the best gift to me finally, he gifted me to myself” which bought in smiles on my face.
I wonder at times, we get so obsessed with things and people that we tend to forget ourselves, but at the same time, we change ourselves so much for the person that it becomes to find one’s real self after few years of time, the slang’s, the habits, the routine, is all used to according to people that it is difficult to change. I wonder how difficult it is to digest a fact that a person very close to you is dead, as that also ends up all the hopes of going back or getting back the person again in your life.
I have a strong faith in god so everything that I do, I believe “god made me do that”, well that’s a good excuse, but that applicable when good as well as the bad things happens, I can never say I am the reason of it, so I often land up asking god, when people are to be separated, why do they meet in life, when I have to be dead one day, why was I born? When I have to quit some thing, why at the first go, I did it, and not realizing that I cant sustain myself, that’s applicable for a job, for making friends and everything in life.
Often people say “ change is the only constant”, easy to say, difficult to understand, change for good, is acceptable, change for bad is not acceptable, when it had to change, why did it happen is what I wonder. The intensity of the change also makes a bigger difference, there are some changes in life, which is irreversible, and getting adapted to change is another face of concept. Level of adaptability differs from every individual, it easy for a person to break up and say “ I am breaking up” as the person can adapt to the change and accept it as soon as the things happen, but at the same time, it may not be by other person as in the case of the article I read.
But at the same time, positive attitude plays a huge role in lives. Optimism and pessimism, person who breaks up is pessimist, as they are sure that they cant go ahead with this, or rather their pessimistic attitude makes them feel so, and the one deals with it is highly optimistic as they have hopes to build, they search happiness in the broken relationship, remembering the happy memories and time spent together. They have their own expectation; they still want the happiness of the other person, so on and so forth. So I believe who faces the breaks in life has more courage and faith towards life, which will bring them up than those who run away from commitments and responsibilities.
Beyond this all there is another thought that’s going on my mind is, when I have to give my approval for a change to happen, then how do I deal with it. For example, when a person relocates for a job, willingly or due to circumstances, when a person is going to say yes for a person to get married to realizing that one has to spend their lifetime with them, without even knowing how the person will be, when a person has to leave the passion willingly because they want to do it for someone beloved, or when one has to part from another person for the happiness of the person like a mother sends a child to school, knowing the insecurities child will face in school, but she knows its for the child’s life. How do I approve for things, which I don’t want to happen?
So finally three situations arise,
1) Things happen because of someone else
2) Things happened which could not be stopped by anyone but the supreme power
3) Things happened because we approved for it
I believe the worst is the third situation, but as I said in my first paragraph, we have to move on with time, like I changed from orkut to facebook and twitter, I have to move on in life, and I have to approve for things, because life has to go on!!!!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
One quiet friends (not a spelling error, I mean the title as it is)
I always believed in having a group of friends doing loud fun, but as I was sitting alone today and wondering who would be the best of friends whom I would invite for my marriage-no I am not getting married now, or i should put it this way, people who should be informed to attend my funeral-No i am dying also now:-).
No doubt the gang of loud people(who understands that I am referring to them while reading this, but they ,I guess never read my blogs, as they are focused on doing loud fun always) would come there, yet some silence prevails.
I have decided to mention about those silent friends here in this blog.
LKG,UKG(nursery and pre nursery’s I don’t remember and neither from 1st to third standard)from 3rd standard to 4th I had serious admirers, mostly guys because of the way they played cricket.
From 5th to 6th I had a quiet friend always, kamal K Sharma, whom I used to call Buddu Ram, we used to sit together and our birthdays were special for us, hers was on 8th November. We hardly used to share anything with each other, but she was my friend in need. I don’t know where on this earth she lives now, but I strongly believe, earth is round , and I will meet her one day.
Then from 6th to 8th I had another friend called Sumitha, about her I knew nothing, she also knew about me partially, but she was my benchmate and my friend in need. After that as my memory tells me, she changed the school, however I exactly don’t remember what was the reason.
From 8th to 10th I honestly don’t remember about a friend in need.
I am not talking about my Best friends, but only the quiet friends, whose presence affected my life, valued equally but was never declared in front of the world.
Then in 11th and 12th, there is a slight change, it wasn’t a girl but a guy-Rohit, and another small difference, he never helped me, but I did. He used to copy everything from my practical files, if he reads this, he would fume up, yes Rohit had the valid reasons why I gave him my files, he wasn’t well and was not able to come to school regularly. I don’t know where is Rohit now!
Without diverting from the topic, during my graduation, Neetu, I made it a point that unlike others, I should know where on this earth she is, and even today a message from her brings smile on my face and makes me remember her smiling face. She never knew me or the problems I had in life nor the happiness, but she was always there when I need her. As mentioned in my earlier blogs, I never attended college; I used to call her to get all the detailed information. She shared with me the news without expecting anything from me. I even now don’t know when is her birthday, but she promptly calls me on mine, I know I am very bad, but I also know she understands me that that’s how I am. I still remember a day when I reached college, once in blue moon, we never used to sit together as I was last bencher and she used to sit in between, she told “Sharanya aaj metrics ka mid term test hai”. Marks would be added in finals!my reaction was like “ SHIT”, she understood I will ask her why didn’t you tell me before and before I could ask her she told me “mujhe khud abhi pata chala”, I was like ab kya Karen? She was like “ Next class me hai I will sit with you in last bench and will study in this class.
I was like you are talking about studying in 45 minutes?pehle mujhe subject ka naam and the book bata,that I am supposed to open for it, was my reaction. I always relied on PN Sir ‘s notes (tuition sir because of whom I cleared the Mathematics Honours!) and I never had any books to study during graduation and PN sir used to teach different chapters at different time, as in not related to what is being taught in college. Notes nahi to kuch bhi nahi. Then she made it a point that I sit next to her and I pass in the internal exam, and I did.:-).
Then came my post graduation, I had one loud big gang of friends but had a quiet friend too. Again this time it was not a girl but a guy who was my quiet friend, Gaurav Lavania, when it is a guy I always helped, unusually I was first bencher as I had to be the gold medalist and wanted to be the first one to be placed, because of the guilt of spending lakhs of rupees of my parents. I used to keep talking about Lavanya (My sis) as I used to miss her since she was in hostel for an year for her post graduation, and Gaurav was called Lavania (his surname) and people misinterpreted that I talked about him. I once screamed Gaurav keep away from me or I will call you bhai and on rakhabandhan , after sadhna I am going to tie rakhi in ur hand…yaar I cant tolerate people making fun. And when i think of the reaction i gave him,how kiddish that was, i still am kiddish, thats a different story.I should say his attitude and my sis was so similar, that I missed my sister less, dono(Lavanya and Lavania) tension party the, I guess things changed during second year, we fought, or our Ego’s clashed (but I never had Ego problem) so I can say misunderstandings that without any reasons we both stopped talking or may be we got busy in our own lives.
In second year I got another quiet friend Preeti, our interactions started in the trip to Sringeri, had fought with my loud gang, I wanted a roommate for the trip and so did she, so I was with her. We started talking, and she became my quiet friend, and then her room in hostel was the place where I took the nap after exams as I used to be awake all night at home for the back to back exams and I wanted that an hours nap. I used to admire her self-centered attitude, the confidence and her hardworking nature, which inspired me more in life.
With this my life of college and studies is over and I am still in the process of exploring the corporate world and looking out for that quiet friend…:-)
No doubt the gang of loud people(who understands that I am referring to them while reading this, but they ,I guess never read my blogs, as they are focused on doing loud fun always) would come there, yet some silence prevails.
I have decided to mention about those silent friends here in this blog.
LKG,UKG(nursery and pre nursery’s I don’t remember and neither from 1st to third standard)from 3rd standard to 4th I had serious admirers, mostly guys because of the way they played cricket.
From 5th to 6th I had a quiet friend always, kamal K Sharma, whom I used to call Buddu Ram, we used to sit together and our birthdays were special for us, hers was on 8th November. We hardly used to share anything with each other, but she was my friend in need. I don’t know where on this earth she lives now, but I strongly believe, earth is round , and I will meet her one day.
Then from 6th to 8th I had another friend called Sumitha, about her I knew nothing, she also knew about me partially, but she was my benchmate and my friend in need. After that as my memory tells me, she changed the school, however I exactly don’t remember what was the reason.
From 8th to 10th I honestly don’t remember about a friend in need.
I am not talking about my Best friends, but only the quiet friends, whose presence affected my life, valued equally but was never declared in front of the world.
Then in 11th and 12th, there is a slight change, it wasn’t a girl but a guy-Rohit, and another small difference, he never helped me, but I did. He used to copy everything from my practical files, if he reads this, he would fume up, yes Rohit had the valid reasons why I gave him my files, he wasn’t well and was not able to come to school regularly. I don’t know where is Rohit now!
Without diverting from the topic, during my graduation, Neetu, I made it a point that unlike others, I should know where on this earth she is, and even today a message from her brings smile on my face and makes me remember her smiling face. She never knew me or the problems I had in life nor the happiness, but she was always there when I need her. As mentioned in my earlier blogs, I never attended college; I used to call her to get all the detailed information. She shared with me the news without expecting anything from me. I even now don’t know when is her birthday, but she promptly calls me on mine, I know I am very bad, but I also know she understands me that that’s how I am. I still remember a day when I reached college, once in blue moon, we never used to sit together as I was last bencher and she used to sit in between, she told “Sharanya aaj metrics ka mid term test hai”. Marks would be added in finals!my reaction was like “ SHIT”, she understood I will ask her why didn’t you tell me before and before I could ask her she told me “mujhe khud abhi pata chala”, I was like ab kya Karen? She was like “ Next class me hai I will sit with you in last bench and will study in this class.
I was like you are talking about studying in 45 minutes?pehle mujhe subject ka naam and the book bata,that I am supposed to open for it, was my reaction. I always relied on PN Sir ‘s notes (tuition sir because of whom I cleared the Mathematics Honours!) and I never had any books to study during graduation and PN sir used to teach different chapters at different time, as in not related to what is being taught in college. Notes nahi to kuch bhi nahi. Then she made it a point that I sit next to her and I pass in the internal exam, and I did.:-).
Then came my post graduation, I had one loud big gang of friends but had a quiet friend too. Again this time it was not a girl but a guy who was my quiet friend, Gaurav Lavania, when it is a guy I always helped, unusually I was first bencher as I had to be the gold medalist and wanted to be the first one to be placed, because of the guilt of spending lakhs of rupees of my parents. I used to keep talking about Lavanya (My sis) as I used to miss her since she was in hostel for an year for her post graduation, and Gaurav was called Lavania (his surname) and people misinterpreted that I talked about him. I once screamed Gaurav keep away from me or I will call you bhai and on rakhabandhan , after sadhna I am going to tie rakhi in ur hand…yaar I cant tolerate people making fun. And when i think of the reaction i gave him,how kiddish that was, i still am kiddish, thats a different story.I should say his attitude and my sis was so similar, that I missed my sister less, dono(Lavanya and Lavania) tension party the, I guess things changed during second year, we fought, or our Ego’s clashed (but I never had Ego problem) so I can say misunderstandings that without any reasons we both stopped talking or may be we got busy in our own lives.
In second year I got another quiet friend Preeti, our interactions started in the trip to Sringeri, had fought with my loud gang, I wanted a roommate for the trip and so did she, so I was with her. We started talking, and she became my quiet friend, and then her room in hostel was the place where I took the nap after exams as I used to be awake all night at home for the back to back exams and I wanted that an hours nap. I used to admire her self-centered attitude, the confidence and her hardworking nature, which inspired me more in life.
With this my life of college and studies is over and I am still in the process of exploring the corporate world and looking out for that quiet friend…:-)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
When a person is lonely, they tend to pick up anything that comes on the way!
Well again I can say the source of my inspiration is from lines of a book of Cecelia Ahern. Not the exact line, but it meant, when a person is lonely, he/she tends to pick up anything that comes on the way.
As usual I am in my own thoughts. I thought about the decisions of my life which I took when I was lonely, lonely cannot be a right word used for me, as I have always been surrounded by my close ones, yet there were times, when I was. And I had to take my own decisions alone, or I was left to take my decisions alone.
No I never picked up things when I was lonely, I kept to myself, I thought a lot, I became frustrated or short tempered , but I just cannot accept anything and everything that comes on my way. Yet I have a reason of picking up things, whether it was my college, my career, my post graduation college, my job or my friends. I take the decisions when I am happy or completely contended in my life. As far as the career, college or life was concerned, it was one way decisions and just my own decisions.
Off late in my life, I was wondering how I could take such a wrong decision. I have never been wrong, trust me, my parents always left me to say a Yes or No or do whatever I wanted to. Not to boast about. It’s not only the trust they had in me that I can never do anything wrong, they also believed my judgment and my decision making skills.
But then I kept asking myself, how did I go wrong this? When did I go wrong, why did I take a wrong decision? I was wondering and as usual, my first and last love answered my question of my life. HOLD ON, DON’T WONDER WHOSE THAT, IT’S NOT WHO, IT’S WHAT AND THAT’S BOOK, NOVEL –MY FIRST AND LAST LOVE! The book of tomorrow- by Cecelia ahern answered my question this time.
When decisions related to people are concerned, we have to make sure that they take their decisions when they are happy, or contended. If people would take their decisions when they are lonely, they would pick anything that comes on their way. But I don’t want to be anything that’s picked on their way, as they are lonely, and because my support would take away the loneliness of person and they would realize that I was anything and everything that they didn’t want and would be thrown away soon or to be decent wouldn’t be bothered or required person on this earth for them.
So I decided, I would accept the decision of a person when they are happy, but yet thoughts don’t end at this. When I am out of the life the person, he again would be lonely and pick anything and everything that’s on their way and they will keep committing this mistake. Well that shouldn’t really bother me or rather it don’t.
Two thoughts crossed across my mind at this time, one was a word from a friend, if they don’t realize, that you were they when they needed someone, they don’t deserve you and another thought a Teacher of mine, if you want to know the real self of a person, pinch him and see how they respond, that is the reality of a person. Well that would mean create some kind of unwanted situation to see how a person responds.
As usual the two thoughts confused me. I was there when a person needed me, but that was a unwanted situation for the person, maybe I didn’t pinch him/her, it was their life that was playing game with them.
So let me try and conclude
1.Person was pinched
2.He/she was not happy / contended in life,
3.They picked everything/anything that came on their way
4.Those decisions taken by an individual when they are not happy are always wrong (according to my theory)
Going back to point number 1, by pinching a person they should reflect their real self by the concept of what my teacher taught me.
So as usual I throw open to you to decide, when a person is unhappy in life, do they make wrong decisions by picking whatever comes on the way, or by my teacher’s concept ,that is their real self , as they are pinched by someone or say the their own life!!!!!
As usual I am in my own thoughts. I thought about the decisions of my life which I took when I was lonely, lonely cannot be a right word used for me, as I have always been surrounded by my close ones, yet there were times, when I was. And I had to take my own decisions alone, or I was left to take my decisions alone.
No I never picked up things when I was lonely, I kept to myself, I thought a lot, I became frustrated or short tempered , but I just cannot accept anything and everything that comes on my way. Yet I have a reason of picking up things, whether it was my college, my career, my post graduation college, my job or my friends. I take the decisions when I am happy or completely contended in my life. As far as the career, college or life was concerned, it was one way decisions and just my own decisions.
Off late in my life, I was wondering how I could take such a wrong decision. I have never been wrong, trust me, my parents always left me to say a Yes or No or do whatever I wanted to. Not to boast about. It’s not only the trust they had in me that I can never do anything wrong, they also believed my judgment and my decision making skills.
But then I kept asking myself, how did I go wrong this? When did I go wrong, why did I take a wrong decision? I was wondering and as usual, my first and last love answered my question of my life. HOLD ON, DON’T WONDER WHOSE THAT, IT’S NOT WHO, IT’S WHAT AND THAT’S BOOK, NOVEL –MY FIRST AND LAST LOVE! The book of tomorrow- by Cecelia ahern answered my question this time.
When decisions related to people are concerned, we have to make sure that they take their decisions when they are happy, or contended. If people would take their decisions when they are lonely, they would pick anything that comes on their way. But I don’t want to be anything that’s picked on their way, as they are lonely, and because my support would take away the loneliness of person and they would realize that I was anything and everything that they didn’t want and would be thrown away soon or to be decent wouldn’t be bothered or required person on this earth for them.
So I decided, I would accept the decision of a person when they are happy, but yet thoughts don’t end at this. When I am out of the life the person, he again would be lonely and pick anything and everything that’s on their way and they will keep committing this mistake. Well that shouldn’t really bother me or rather it don’t.
Two thoughts crossed across my mind at this time, one was a word from a friend, if they don’t realize, that you were they when they needed someone, they don’t deserve you and another thought a Teacher of mine, if you want to know the real self of a person, pinch him and see how they respond, that is the reality of a person. Well that would mean create some kind of unwanted situation to see how a person responds.
As usual the two thoughts confused me. I was there when a person needed me, but that was a unwanted situation for the person, maybe I didn’t pinch him/her, it was their life that was playing game with them.
So let me try and conclude
1.Person was pinched
2.He/she was not happy / contended in life,
3.They picked everything/anything that came on their way
4.Those decisions taken by an individual when they are not happy are always wrong (according to my theory)
Going back to point number 1, by pinching a person they should reflect their real self by the concept of what my teacher taught me.
So as usual I throw open to you to decide, when a person is unhappy in life, do they make wrong decisions by picking whatever comes on the way, or by my teacher’s concept ,that is their real self , as they are pinched by someone or say the their own life!!!!!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Arranged marriage Vs Love marriage
Aaj cafeteria me baat karte karte kuch energied feeling aayi. May be because of the coffee I had, or the pastry. Me n Lavanya are so crazy that we get high on a chai of India gate, or crushes of KFC. Ab yeh to coffee Tha. I got high, and topic we were earlier discussing throughout the day with friends and family was also unique. Will come to the topic later, but when high, what came across my mind was the dialogue from “Rang de Basanti” movie. By god we were crazy about the movie and siddharth and kunal during that time. I was more fascinated by the cool dialogue of siddharth. And being in university, the movie based on university is like a life time opportunity as one could clearly relate to it and enjoy.
Coming back the dialogue I remembered “is duniya me do(two) tarah ke log hote hain-ek jo hota hai hone do aur dusre, use badlne ki zimmedari uthao” and the topic of discussion today was arranged marriage versus love marriage. Comparing the dialogue and the following. People who opt for arranged marriage are the one-jo hota hai hone do. And abe aaye who special category – ussse badlane ki zimmedari uthao.
It is a usual thought that those who do love marriages are the happiest lot of the people. But I guess those who have done may not agree to the point as it is often difficult opting for a love marriage than an arrange marriage.
Have tried to draw comparison between arranged marriage (AM) versus love marriage (LM). Ab aaj kal wooh zamana kahan hai , jab kehte the, miya biwi raazi to kya karega kazi???kazi is not just one but in hundread’s and kya karega nahi , wohi sab karte hain, lets c the role played by the “Kazi”
Pre – marriage scene
1.In an AM you talk (with the guy/girl) with permission and in LM, you are never granted permission to talk (to parents), as it is never a talk but an argument.
2.In AM it is the headache of the parents to handle everything, in LM, it is our headache to handle everything
3.In AM the guy and the girl have all right to throw tantrums and to threaten, that I don’t like this, we don’t like that, in LM it’s the parents who throw tantrums and threatens us back.
4.In AM their respective friends are invited and are asked to give moral support to the girl or the guy, in LM, unhe bhi joote padte hain, all this happened because you were with this girl/guy (the friends). Everyone forgets, even if they wouldn’t have been there, this would have happened.
5.In AM , if guy and the girl likes each other, and yet the misunderstanding happens within the family, they have an ultimate option to elope, in LM, if family happens to like each other and between guy and girl misunderstanding happens (as the families which unlikingly like each other) because communication that travels through the couple and not the family, option to elope is not possible(miya biwi hi razi nahi ab to) ;-))
Humne badle ki zimmedari uthayi hai, ab realize hua, gaye the duniya ko badlne ,khudko badlne ki zimmedari uthali.
During the marriage
1.The uninvited, yet invited attendees in the marriages comments will be like this in the two cases.in AM “Dikhne me acha nahi hai ladka/ladki, par gun ache honge, tabhi hui na shad(however bad the guy or the girl may look)i”, in LM “kya soch ke karte hain shadi, dikhne me tak acha/achi nahi hai(however beautiful the guy and the girl will look)”. Kissi ne in logon se comment maanga tha????nahiii….
2.In AM, the guy and the girl look their best and in LM, guy and the girl look the worst of what they would have been during their life because of tension, ki bas shadi khatam ho and that’s it.
3.Taali yeriyachu(shadi khatam, mangalsutra pehna diya, fere bhi ho gaye). In AM girl’s mother and the family cries, in LM the guy’s mother and the family cries. Self explanatory.
4.Khana-an integral part of every marriage-In AM, usually it is optimum as the number of invitees is equal to number of attendees. In LM guaranteed shortage. As number of attendees is always the double of number of invitees. Agal bagal me sab padosiyon ko le jaate hain, pata hai mrs iyer/gupta ji ki beta/beti ne love maariage kiya hai, chalna shadi me , dekhen to sahi kaise hoti hai.lol
5.Finally time to go home(katti sadam mootai/Vidayi), in AM , it’s the girl and girl’s family again is crying as our daughter has become someone else’s, in LM no one cries, the girl goes back to place where she works, the guy will fly back to US, and the respective families go back where they live, mind it , all the places are usually different.
Humne badle ki zimmedari uthayi hai, ab realize hua, chale the shadi ka concept badle, yahan to post shadi concept bhi badalna pada. Yet we are fine till the time we are happy, and we are living apart.
Post – marriage scene
1.In AM only for one year after the marriage couple live with the guy’s family and in alone for the rest of the life, in LM, one year couple live alone, both of them also alone and then later,they land up living with the guy’s family as their schedules are so hectic that someone has to take care of kids.
2.In AM couple love each other after the marriage and in LM couple fight as they have already loved before the marriage
3.In AM , before the marriage , guy never compromises and after , he always compromises, in LM both compromise before the marriage and none compromise after the marriage
4.In AM, live happily because life is like how life should be, but in LM, life is all in mess, so ab life ko badlne ki zimmedari uthao, and with loads of difficulty they finally are settled in life like how it’s with the people in AM
5.Finally in both cases kids are like their parents, in AM , jo hota hai hone do, so kids and the parents are happy, in LM too kids are like their parents , par ab bachon ko badalne ki zimmedari uthao!;-)
In which category do you fall? Jo hota hai hone doge?ya badlne ki zimmedari uthaoge?
Coming back the dialogue I remembered “is duniya me do(two) tarah ke log hote hain-ek jo hota hai hone do aur dusre, use badlne ki zimmedari uthao” and the topic of discussion today was arranged marriage versus love marriage. Comparing the dialogue and the following. People who opt for arranged marriage are the one-jo hota hai hone do. And abe aaye who special category – ussse badlane ki zimmedari uthao.
It is a usual thought that those who do love marriages are the happiest lot of the people. But I guess those who have done may not agree to the point as it is often difficult opting for a love marriage than an arrange marriage.
Have tried to draw comparison between arranged marriage (AM) versus love marriage (LM). Ab aaj kal wooh zamana kahan hai , jab kehte the, miya biwi raazi to kya karega kazi???kazi is not just one but in hundread’s and kya karega nahi , wohi sab karte hain, lets c the role played by the “Kazi”
Pre – marriage scene
1.In an AM you talk (with the guy/girl) with permission and in LM, you are never granted permission to talk (to parents), as it is never a talk but an argument.
2.In AM it is the headache of the parents to handle everything, in LM, it is our headache to handle everything
3.In AM the guy and the girl have all right to throw tantrums and to threaten, that I don’t like this, we don’t like that, in LM it’s the parents who throw tantrums and threatens us back.
4.In AM their respective friends are invited and are asked to give moral support to the girl or the guy, in LM, unhe bhi joote padte hain, all this happened because you were with this girl/guy (the friends). Everyone forgets, even if they wouldn’t have been there, this would have happened.
5.In AM , if guy and the girl likes each other, and yet the misunderstanding happens within the family, they have an ultimate option to elope, in LM, if family happens to like each other and between guy and girl misunderstanding happens (as the families which unlikingly like each other) because communication that travels through the couple and not the family, option to elope is not possible(miya biwi hi razi nahi ab to) ;-))
Humne badle ki zimmedari uthayi hai, ab realize hua, gaye the duniya ko badlne ,khudko badlne ki zimmedari uthali.
During the marriage
1.The uninvited, yet invited attendees in the marriages comments will be like this in the two cases.in AM “Dikhne me acha nahi hai ladka/ladki, par gun ache honge, tabhi hui na shad(however bad the guy or the girl may look)i”, in LM “kya soch ke karte hain shadi, dikhne me tak acha/achi nahi hai(however beautiful the guy and the girl will look)”. Kissi ne in logon se comment maanga tha????nahiii….
2.In AM, the guy and the girl look their best and in LM, guy and the girl look the worst of what they would have been during their life because of tension, ki bas shadi khatam ho and that’s it.
3.Taali yeriyachu(shadi khatam, mangalsutra pehna diya, fere bhi ho gaye). In AM girl’s mother and the family cries, in LM the guy’s mother and the family cries. Self explanatory.
4.Khana-an integral part of every marriage-In AM, usually it is optimum as the number of invitees is equal to number of attendees. In LM guaranteed shortage. As number of attendees is always the double of number of invitees. Agal bagal me sab padosiyon ko le jaate hain, pata hai mrs iyer/gupta ji ki beta/beti ne love maariage kiya hai, chalna shadi me , dekhen to sahi kaise hoti hai.lol
5.Finally time to go home(katti sadam mootai/Vidayi), in AM , it’s the girl and girl’s family again is crying as our daughter has become someone else’s, in LM no one cries, the girl goes back to place where she works, the guy will fly back to US, and the respective families go back where they live, mind it , all the places are usually different.
Humne badle ki zimmedari uthayi hai, ab realize hua, chale the shadi ka concept badle, yahan to post shadi concept bhi badalna pada. Yet we are fine till the time we are happy, and we are living apart.
Post – marriage scene
1.In AM only for one year after the marriage couple live with the guy’s family and in alone for the rest of the life, in LM, one year couple live alone, both of them also alone and then later,they land up living with the guy’s family as their schedules are so hectic that someone has to take care of kids.
2.In AM couple love each other after the marriage and in LM couple fight as they have already loved before the marriage
3.In AM , before the marriage , guy never compromises and after , he always compromises, in LM both compromise before the marriage and none compromise after the marriage
4.In AM, live happily because life is like how life should be, but in LM, life is all in mess, so ab life ko badlne ki zimmedari uthao, and with loads of difficulty they finally are settled in life like how it’s with the people in AM
5.Finally in both cases kids are like their parents, in AM , jo hota hai hone do, so kids and the parents are happy, in LM too kids are like their parents , par ab bachon ko badalne ki zimmedari uthao!;-)
In which category do you fall? Jo hota hai hone doge?ya badlne ki zimmedari uthaoge?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
What will happen at the most????
It was fine morning and as usual mom didn’t allow us to study till late night as she would always want us to finish studying two days before the exams! So was this time!the borad exam of my life, god the terror that’s created at the name of board exam. I was terrified too. I slept early, but I can never get up early however early I sleep, but today was the day of terror, I couldn’t sleep. I got up early, 4th march 2003. I guess I watched cricket match between India and Pakistan the day before, and India had won, although I am not very much interested in cricket but that match was worth watching. I got up and only sound was mom working from kitchen. I got up and went straight to kitchen and hugged her, she was really scared and turned back, I said mumma mujhe neend nahi aa rahi hai!if it would have been any other day, she would have slapped me back to have scared her, but she was also equally nervous as I was or rather we were. Double danger mom had to face, both have to perform well, even one doesn’t means no happiness for our family, unlike others! It was cold day, mom made tea, and we both were sitting in out garden, talking nothing and just one thing she said “ at the most kya hoga, soch? I replied, “ I wont perform well in my exams” mind it I meant I wont perform well, as I knew I would pass because of the effort mom had put to teach us history, I was really bad at it”. And then I started cycling in my gym cycle for about half and hour to activate my sleeping mind or to control my temper.
And today after 7 years, I got up nervous and went to kitchen, mom was not there, but I could hear the flights in the sky, was wondering I once wanted to be a Air force Pilot and was wondering every child wants to be a Pilot for the fascination towards flying high in the sky, then I looked at birds, once I also wanted to have wings like birds to compete with the planes in the sky. But all I knew was I wanted to fly. Yes I am flying because of the butterflies in my stomach. A special friend had got a special tea; I made that thinking that would help to stop the butterflies from flying.
I wanted to talk to mom, but didn’t really feel like creating unnecessary tension for her, because of the distance and time that I can reach back to her was more, unlike three hours of the board exams. Well what I am going to do if I reveal, there are my colleagues in office who will laugh like the smiley we used to have on yahoo, falling and rolling on the ground (I should have made a warning statement, read the blog or talk to me about the blog when no one is around, in the beginning. lol), although most of them are aware of what I am going to do, as I kept asking them doubts time and again. I asked doubts about the discussion and things for today, whoever came on my way as I was taught during my MBA, ask what you want to know. I wanted to know a lot, I wanted a source of information to tell me what I am supposed to do next. I went back to that same question of mom “ at the most kya hoga?” I imagined the disasters that can happen with me, no phone works, the V-Con doesn’t work, no one turns up (I wish that happens, which wont), over all I can say a nightmare like the one I had in morning and got up with a shock. I was told whatever you do, do your homework, in my post graduation, I have done my homework, but the issue is with the people, would they have remembered to do their homework????? At the most kya hoga, I again asked myself, and I got the answer. I smiled, chal hone de disaster, I will do the head on collision with it, because even if that’s gonna happen I will be happy, because that’s the way god took out for me for the thing I couldn’t decide on my own for so long. Now guess what that “At the most thing ,could be on which I smiled?”
And today after 7 years, I got up nervous and went to kitchen, mom was not there, but I could hear the flights in the sky, was wondering I once wanted to be a Air force Pilot and was wondering every child wants to be a Pilot for the fascination towards flying high in the sky, then I looked at birds, once I also wanted to have wings like birds to compete with the planes in the sky. But all I knew was I wanted to fly. Yes I am flying because of the butterflies in my stomach. A special friend had got a special tea; I made that thinking that would help to stop the butterflies from flying.
I wanted to talk to mom, but didn’t really feel like creating unnecessary tension for her, because of the distance and time that I can reach back to her was more, unlike three hours of the board exams. Well what I am going to do if I reveal, there are my colleagues in office who will laugh like the smiley we used to have on yahoo, falling and rolling on the ground (I should have made a warning statement, read the blog or talk to me about the blog when no one is around, in the beginning. lol), although most of them are aware of what I am going to do, as I kept asking them doubts time and again. I asked doubts about the discussion and things for today, whoever came on my way as I was taught during my MBA, ask what you want to know. I wanted to know a lot, I wanted a source of information to tell me what I am supposed to do next. I went back to that same question of mom “ at the most kya hoga?” I imagined the disasters that can happen with me, no phone works, the V-Con doesn’t work, no one turns up (I wish that happens, which wont), over all I can say a nightmare like the one I had in morning and got up with a shock. I was told whatever you do, do your homework, in my post graduation, I have done my homework, but the issue is with the people, would they have remembered to do their homework????? At the most kya hoga, I again asked myself, and I got the answer. I smiled, chal hone de disaster, I will do the head on collision with it, because even if that’s gonna happen I will be happy, because that’s the way god took out for me for the thing I couldn’t decide on my own for so long. Now guess what that “At the most thing ,could be on which I smiled?”
Sunday, February 13, 2011
“Is love because of possessiveness or possessiveness because of love?”
Every day Lavanya and me would get up with sounds of birds fluttering in our balcony. When appa amma would be here, they would again and again open the balcony and flow them away so that we get to sleep few more hours. I used to get up, see mom dad doing that, smile and sleep back. Now that ma pa both are back to Delhi, we have got used to putting another pillow on our heads and sleep back.
A weekend started, and my sis as usual the cleanliness freak began her work, well would never do the cleaning alone, and all the members in the family present at home have to do. Unfortunately I am alone stuck as of now with her in our small one room apartment in Chennai. If it was Delhi, I would divide the rooms and scream I will do the ones allotted for me and you mind your own business and try hard shifting all my room kooda, not exactly kooda, but whatever things are not in place in my room, saying all these should be in yours.
Well not diverting, in Chennai, a fine Sunday morning, and she opens the curtains and says, uth ja shona, chal shuru ho ja. Shona only ones, next time all bad words would come out if I don’t get up. Today’s target was cleaning balcony, and balcony ka slab where the pigeon had given birth to the babies. We knew it because of the broken eggshells we saw one day on the floor. We left it because of sentiments; thinking let it grow big so that when it will fly away we will clean. It’s been long, so today was the special occasion of cleaning the balcony.
Lavanya climbs on chair and looks on the slab, again and again, then as usual, called mumma “amma kaise clean Karen?bohot hi zyada messy state me hai slab, darr lag raha hai , (because pigeons were still there)how do we do?” . As if amma appa are going to come immediately and help us do that, I wish it could happen. So now mom’s suggestion, call plumber or electrician and ask them to help. And as usual Lavanya will never do the outdoor work, and scream at me, “ ja Sharanya, and bring electrician”, badbate hue I have to go, coz I know I don’t have the option of saying a no.
We called up the electrician and cleaned everything, and left the two small pigeons alone and cleaned everything around it. By the time we had completed the cleaning activity, we were both completely exhausted and sat to take a break and mom calls again asking “ kya hua, called someone?clean kar diya?” and sis would narrate the entire story and then it strikes my mom , “you didn’t touch the pigeons na?” we were like no but why, then mom said if you would have touched it, the bigger ones will never feed it anymore or take it away!!!! Well there I am in my thoughts of this concept now! Lavi and me were like wahhh kya possessiveness hai?
Pigeons don’t allow anyone else even to touch their babies, you do and that’s it, it’s no more mine. I was taken into my own thoughts, human are no different. I thought what am I possessive about? No doubt about my family-includes only ma, pa and sis! What else? My room, my notice board at home, my friends, at least few, but the possessiveness is not so strong that I can’t share them with anyone, yes there are few.
I still remember when I was very young I was very attached to my grandma and when I got to know that she has cancer and she wouldn’t live long, I was shattered. From then ma would always teach me, you shouldn’t be so possessive about anyone or anythings that you cant live without them, yet grandma lived for almost 6 years after that and by that time, I was grown enough to understand, yet it was difficult for me.
I think I am confusing possessiveness with love. So now the question is “Is love because of possessiveness or possessiveness because of love?”
Let me analyse the case of pigeon. The pigeons wont touch their babies if the human would have done them, every mother loves the child, so is in the case of birds, but then if they love them, they shouldn’t leave them. So its love because of possessiveness because once they become some else, the possession is lost, and so is the love.
When it comes too human, I love something or some one, because I posses them, so I am being possessive about the same. So it’s the same love because of possessiveness.
But when I love something, I make sure that I get the same, and I possess them. Whether it’s books or friends, or my beanbag, so this can be said as possessiveness because of love. As I loved something, now I possess them- well I can say that’s because I am ziddi(pampered) too!!!
But as always I am still confused what to conclude? “Is love because of possessiveness or possessiveness because of love?”
A weekend started, and my sis as usual the cleanliness freak began her work, well would never do the cleaning alone, and all the members in the family present at home have to do. Unfortunately I am alone stuck as of now with her in our small one room apartment in Chennai. If it was Delhi, I would divide the rooms and scream I will do the ones allotted for me and you mind your own business and try hard shifting all my room kooda, not exactly kooda, but whatever things are not in place in my room, saying all these should be in yours.
Well not diverting, in Chennai, a fine Sunday morning, and she opens the curtains and says, uth ja shona, chal shuru ho ja. Shona only ones, next time all bad words would come out if I don’t get up. Today’s target was cleaning balcony, and balcony ka slab where the pigeon had given birth to the babies. We knew it because of the broken eggshells we saw one day on the floor. We left it because of sentiments; thinking let it grow big so that when it will fly away we will clean. It’s been long, so today was the special occasion of cleaning the balcony.
Lavanya climbs on chair and looks on the slab, again and again, then as usual, called mumma “amma kaise clean Karen?bohot hi zyada messy state me hai slab, darr lag raha hai , (because pigeons were still there)how do we do?” . As if amma appa are going to come immediately and help us do that, I wish it could happen. So now mom’s suggestion, call plumber or electrician and ask them to help. And as usual Lavanya will never do the outdoor work, and scream at me, “ ja Sharanya, and bring electrician”, badbate hue I have to go, coz I know I don’t have the option of saying a no.
We called up the electrician and cleaned everything, and left the two small pigeons alone and cleaned everything around it. By the time we had completed the cleaning activity, we were both completely exhausted and sat to take a break and mom calls again asking “ kya hua, called someone?clean kar diya?” and sis would narrate the entire story and then it strikes my mom , “you didn’t touch the pigeons na?” we were like no but why, then mom said if you would have touched it, the bigger ones will never feed it anymore or take it away!!!! Well there I am in my thoughts of this concept now! Lavi and me were like wahhh kya possessiveness hai?
Pigeons don’t allow anyone else even to touch their babies, you do and that’s it, it’s no more mine. I was taken into my own thoughts, human are no different. I thought what am I possessive about? No doubt about my family-includes only ma, pa and sis! What else? My room, my notice board at home, my friends, at least few, but the possessiveness is not so strong that I can’t share them with anyone, yes there are few.
I still remember when I was very young I was very attached to my grandma and when I got to know that she has cancer and she wouldn’t live long, I was shattered. From then ma would always teach me, you shouldn’t be so possessive about anyone or anythings that you cant live without them, yet grandma lived for almost 6 years after that and by that time, I was grown enough to understand, yet it was difficult for me.
I think I am confusing possessiveness with love. So now the question is “Is love because of possessiveness or possessiveness because of love?”
Let me analyse the case of pigeon. The pigeons wont touch their babies if the human would have done them, every mother loves the child, so is in the case of birds, but then if they love them, they shouldn’t leave them. So its love because of possessiveness because once they become some else, the possession is lost, and so is the love.
When it comes too human, I love something or some one, because I posses them, so I am being possessive about the same. So it’s the same love because of possessiveness.
But when I love something, I make sure that I get the same, and I possess them. Whether it’s books or friends, or my beanbag, so this can be said as possessiveness because of love. As I loved something, now I possess them- well I can say that’s because I am ziddi(pampered) too!!!
But as always I am still confused what to conclude? “Is love because of possessiveness or possessiveness because of love?”
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