I am sorry, i didnt say a goodbye, because i wanted to see your anger when we meet again!I love you!

I went inside and he was standing right at the gate shouting at me as he was very angry and also sad (the reason of which I came to know later although). As soon the gate was opened, I just stood, was scared as to how he will react? It has been months that I have seen him and he did nothing but just stared at me and went back inside the house and slept. I said nothing and as usual people around the house were talking and laughing. Uncle, aunty were asking me about my job, about the place, and then as usual the retail topics, and finally topics about matrimony started. The last topic always make me fly from the place, so I got up and moved to the TV room, and since I wanted to irritate him, I switched on the TV with full volume, he got up and looked who was doing that, looked at me, smiled at me and again slept. I continue flipping channels till uncle came and said, come lets all go out for dinner, and he asked are you coming looking at him, now that he was even more angry with the volume of TV, that he barked back in anger “NO”. and we all left and had a nice dinner at the club and as usual the heart of a mother and the understanding which a mother has with child can never be competed, aunty and ma said, we will pack the dinner for him, and we went back home. Uncle said come lets go for walk, I wanted to say, no uncle I am very lazy to go for walk, and would prefer to go back home and fight with him, as he has been showing so much of rudeness to me, but I thought, if I don’t go now uncle will say, come lets go for jog and that too in the morning, He would also go, and I wanted to avoid it, so agreed now itself.

Aunty and ma went back home, asked him to eat the food. Then aunty told, he was very sad because grand ma has been away for more than a month, and he has been missing her a lot. I understood may be that’s the same reason he has been angry with me.


I got back home and he got into the bed to sleep even before we could. And ma was telling me, In the morning, since everyone at home had woken up, he went near you, tried pulling your bedsheet and wake you up, but everyone called him , so he came back to let you sleep.

I didn’t even realize that, but I was laughing when ma told me this. I went inside kitchen to make the coffee, he was right behind .And then with the coffee I was reading newspaper, he came near me and I took him in my lap, he sat there keenly looking at the paper and saying sorry for all the anger he had been showing on me. I hugged him tight and when I came out after shower, he was right there outside the door,looking at me, with the fear in his eyes that I also have left him like his grandma. And whole day we both played together and in the end he was sleeping that I quietly left the place, which otherwise he would have been really difficult for everyone as he would not have let me go.I am sorry, i didnt say a goodbye, because i wanted to see your anger when we meet again!I love you!

Well here I introduce you all to my old friend but a recent one, Timmy-shouldn’t be calling him a DOG, as he is more of the KID of the family than the DOG. I believe he understands what attachment is than the human being. He knows the value of humanity around. And I am glad people understand your faithfulness and loyalty because you are a dog. I wish I was born as a dog than a human being!

Place or People

I prefer taking the window seat in the cab which is third from the beginning and second from the end. Today luckily I was the first pick up, so I choose my favorite seat. I take the two seater so that I and my sis can sit, but today since we had a fight in the morning, she didn’t sit with me. The activity which I usually do in the mornings is to read a book and at night during my travel time, I listen to music. In the mornings when I read book, I prefer to keep the things in hand on my side so that it is convenient for me to read.

So I was sitting and started to read the book, Namesake, sorry I just read 15 minutes a day so it’s taking me more than usual to finish it. So in many of my earlier blogs also there has been reference of the book. As I was reading another person boarded the cab, he sat in last seat and in two minutes changed the seat next to mind, opening the half opened window of mine , fully. We are a democratic country, and he had the freedom to sit anywhere he wanted, I took my bag and put it at the back seat. As I was reading, I was feeling uncomfortable, not for the fact that the person was sitting next to me but also that he took away my space. In my MBA we were taught every individual had his comfort space around him/her which has to be understood and if you talk going inside his comfort space, his attention to your words will be reduced so is the case when you are too far away from the comfort space.

I was thinking all this, I was wondering comfort space may not only being around, but in terms of topics, issues and involvement of an individual in our lives. There may have been people in whose life I got in their comfort space by getting myself so much involved d in their life that they have got uncomfortable with me, or maybe there are people who try to get into my comfort space making things uncomfortable for me. This was all back mind thought process, in the actual I was reading and the story revolved around the fact that Ashima, wife of Ashoke is giving her last party to her friends and family after the death of her husband before selling the house in America in which she and her husband started their lives. And she is going back to her roots in Calcutta, but she thinks she is very different from what she once had come from Calcutta.

I started thinking how lives change, and that’s something we don’t imagine to change in the way. I was born here in Chennai and now that I have come back to my roots, yet things may not the same, people may be, places may be the same, but I am not the same person as what I had left. I have my passport, license, my college, my schools everything which has an address of Delhi. When I will be back home in Delhi, I know what I am not supposed to do, all of which I am doing here.

I at times wonder how my parents could move to strange place and they have created a beautiful life around them, where every stranger is a family. It’s not just my parents, but thousands of Tamilians who have moved away from their life in search of a new life and created a life in a place so strange.

Here within the families itself I observed the comfort space are so different that I doubt how much they all can get involved in each other lives. Everyone says we are social and have their own circles of friends of and non family-families and that’s their life. Though case in similar for our lives in Delhi, but the difference is that it’s a life where everyone came together to help the ones who need, as they all knew we have none other than these people who are a family to us. And that’s a case especially with people like my parents who are first generations settlers in a place outside their own native places.

And when we settle in a place which is not our own, our thought process, mindset changes not just because we started to live there, because there is a need to change. I have to eat the kind of food they eat there, not because we are copying them, but that’s what is available there, and with time we get habituated to the foods that it can’t be changed so soon again when we are back. It’s just that the comfort spaces change according to the place, and if I am asked to come back to comfort zone according to this place, it has to be understood that I have developed this comfort space during 20 years of my life, the major part of my life.

All the thoughts apart, I don’t know how my life is going to change in next twenty years; I will not be same person as what I am today. I even don’t know if things will change for good or for bad. How many good situations I have to see in life, what all I have to compromise and what all god will give me, what I deserve, but I doubt if my love for Delhi will ever reduce because that’s the place where I have seen all the Ups and Downs of my life. But for my parents, their preferences changed as they started liking a place which they kind off moved to, when they were in the same situation as I am now. Or I wonder if it is with experience that we would grow mature and accept everything happily that’s come on our way, because at the end of the day, we all have one life, which we have to live, what so ever it be, how so ever it be. My parents choose to live happily instead of regretting what they don’t have, they accepted what they have.

One last thought is, is that the place they started loving, or is it the people around whose support increased their love for the place?

Entrance exam for getting married!

I have lost the habit of reading newspaper. There was time when mom used to scold for not reading newspaper, the reason in particular that my sis wanted to be a journalist, which she did become, but I doubt how reading newspaper helped in that. And there was a time when mom used to shout on us to read the newspaper as we would pick up the tea and land up in balcony reading paper for hours. But now I cant imagine doing that because what runs in mind as soon as I get up is what work I have to do? kapde dhona hai, pata nahi balcony me kabootar ne kya hulchul machaya hoga that I am supposed to clean and what am I supposed to cook? Office me jakar will I be able to relax or am I going to have work there…………too many of them, to think of a Monday morning tires me now. Let me not think about that now, I still have 12 hours for all these thoughts. In fact last to last week I asked newspaper distributor not to put paper as we don’t read it at all, and it directly goes to waste paper bin, but he continued putting. So I on a Sunday picked paper, thinking don’t know how long he will put, so let me read it.

I usually love reading editorial pages as it does contain news, which can be understood even if I don’t know any background. This time I came across an interesting article –Entrance exam for getting married, words may not be same, but essence was this and I was more interested because It was written by a person with surname sahoo and I once had a severe crush on a journalist named sahoo, in an award function where I was a volunteer and he had come there to cover the event. After that whichever office my sister was, I used to tell her, if u come across sahoo, convey my “HI” to him and we would laugh, there are thousands of them in this media field.

So the article had various question that a to-be-bridegroom comes across when he attends a social event. I was like pretty partial article, focusing only on one side of the story. I continued reading and found it contained all the questions he comes across, and few of them which I still retain in my mind was regarding his company and then salary, designation. Followed by question if he had been for any foreign trip and all that. And I was taken to my thoughts? Is this what parent’s look for while getting their daughters married? Yes may be! They have all rights to know, because it’s after all their daughter’s life and they want it to be good. Then I was wondering what are the questions that a to be bride would come across. I never had a personal experience and don’t want to have either because I just don’t understand how two unknown people can spend their lives together, unfortunately I am in that list where I have to but the thought itself gives me shivers and I start trembling. I read the same lines in Namesake yesterday when googol also in the same thoughts, how two unknown people can get married and spend their lives together.

I often divert a lot in my blogs, the topic to be discussed was questions asked to a bride.

Ohkkkk…now let me come to questions
o What have you studied? Yes I am perfectly eligible in that note, I am well read, among the toppers (Want my mark sheets and reports cards since nursery? I have them;-)) I am really sorry when things come to this institution of marriage I become sarcastic or rather sarcasm due to aggressiveness
What else can I be asked?
o Do you know how to cook? No but I know how to drive a car so in case if I cook something so bad, I can rush you to hospital rather than waiting for ambulance. ;-)
o Will you work after getting married? I don’t mind sitting at home but I will drive you crazy, so you would find it better to let me work. And I haven’t studied all these years in my life to sit idle at home obviously, so that’s a nonsense of the questions that can be asked. No I don’t think I will be asked that question.
What else hhmmmm????this is tough to think, thinking questions for normal job interviews was damn easier! Let me think, let me think….
o Sirf Indian dresses pehenti ho ya western bhi?I am beautiful and smart, so I guess I can wear everything(thoda overconfidence hai,i understand, par question bhi thoda aisa sa tha na-HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION) , provided you don’t expect me to be in a saree in a DJ night. I know how to get dressed according to occasions, so you would really not have to bother on that note.
o Will you put up with in-laws? Are you asking me or telling me is what I would want to ask on that. I would always prefer without in-laws because if I am with them, I would feel even more sorry that my parents are living all alone, and why should I give all the happiness to you which my parents are to be given because its ultimately they who has bought me up the way I am ……a question to prove that I have committed a mistake of being born a girl….nahi yaar people are sensible , so they really wouldn’t ask such questions
o One more thing that is crossing across my mind is regarding dowry. I don’t think people in today world ask for this, I watch a lot of movies, so have negative thoughts about arranged marriage from them. But if at all they ask, what will I do? Dialing 100?old style, uncle aunty, sorry, is your son only worth few lakhs or thousands? I wanted him to worth infinite money, which according to you, he is not, so I wouldn’t want such a person. Dowry me aaj kal , tanga toda nahi nahi….what is that yaar? In Tamil? I am not getting that word, haan ….“Waira Todu” diamond earring people ask, they do, very recently I have come across marriages in which they have asked saying its an asset for your daughter only. I was wondering how can a diamond earring be an asset to me? …I wear baby studs even now, my mom gets irritated when go to buy an earring for us, because we go only to the baby stud section and we land up fighting this is too small, but we say that’s what we want!
o Again diverted, let me focus on questions to be asked to bride and not the parents. One more thousand dollar question- did you like the guy…ha ha…I don’t know if he can talk properly, just by the look how can I say he is good? Yes yes he is good but I don’t want to marry him is all what I can say at that point. lol
o Do you want to ask something? Yes thousand of questions, I have a questionnaire prepared (sorry in two years of my MBA, I did prepare only questionnaires), is your son good at written round or in interview. Questions in written are very easy and most of them objective only, so I guess he should pass ;-)!

ARE YOU READY for questionnaire after the long interview that you have taken of mine?;-)

The Voice

I had written a blog some time back, and a friend who has started following my blogs recently, started discussing my blog. And the conclusion we came to was, every human being needs a company to live, to survive in life.

Well I met this friend by chance, we spoke by chance and it landed into a unique friendship.This person suddenly pinged me one day saying, “ mujhe aapko kuch sunana hai, whenever you are free tell me, we will catch up.” I became so inquisitive that I gave a call, coming for a coffee? I want the surprise now. And we met, and he introduced me to yaad sheher by nilesh misra.

And whenever I would come home tired and laptop would be given to me by my sister (which is very rare), I listen to yaad sheher.

Today lavi is traveling to Delhi, so laptop is all mine. I started listening to yaad sheher.
And today story was very unique on shayar on call. I used to call a friend shayar on message during my college days, and there was a time when we friends used to talk only in shayari language. Don’t know how they used to be, but it was fun. Professor would be taking class and we would be thinking shayari and typing them. So I wanted to hear this episode of yaad sheher.

So few lines of the episode that made me wonder.

1. Chehre sach kahen na kahe, aawaz sach keh deti(face may lie but voice says the truth)
2. Rishta aawaz ka!koi silsila nahi awaz ke alwa, kal jaane yeh rishta rahe na rahe.(a relationship with voice, and nothing else, and you never know if this will remain after this or not)
3. Phone call jo tanhayi bharte the, wooh ab shor lagne lage the. (A call / voice which used to fulfill the loneliness once, has become noise now)
4. Chale jaane ko kaha, chup chali gayi.(I told her to go, and she went quiet forever)
5. Tum who samundar jo, jisme har sach chupa hai,(you are the sea, which has hidden all the secrets)
6. Pata nahi kisse dhund raha hoon. (I don’t know whom I am searching)


My wandering thoughts on the same :-)

A face may lie but not the voice. What if I haven’t ever seen the person? What do I make out of the voice. And at the times dil aur dimag ke beech ek aise kashmakash hoti hai ki aksar dil jeeta hai, and when the heart wins over the mind, it can sense every word of what a person wants to say even if not said. And even you hate the words, the heart forces you to listen to the voice. Its easier to forget a person’s face, but not the voice, the voice can haunt you in dreams so much that it is difficult to be recalled what it said in dreams unlike a dream with a picture with a series of event in which I can recollect what has happened after what. I used to think it’s the wavelength with the person that brings the comfort level while talking but after hearing to call on shayar, I am wondering it is the wavelength or the voice that makes the difference.

So that means we can say, its not the person to whom relate to but the voice. Well yes I agree to this because at times the excitement in a person triggers my excitement level too and vice versa. So in the beginning what I said we need company or friends to live, to survive, is that company in person or someone to whom we can speak our thoughts. Well I have faced some unique situations in my life, that people may not know what is happening in my life and there would be a person whom I would just pick up the phone, call and tell everything just by saying, don’t give me your comments, let me speak, in the end I will myself find the solutions.

But while doing this, we need to realize that at times the person to whom I spoke to once, may today need me, and that should not be the moment that I should feel his/her voice is a noise. Imagine there was a time, when I spoke, I laughed because I wanted you to laugh, I cried because you cried, I shared your loneliness, although you did share my happiness, but today when I wanted to hear a voice, to change my mood, or share to my mood, I didn’t get the voice that I wanted rather one reluctant response? what would happen then? Then occurs a heart-mind fights and it is sure that mind will win. So contrary, when heart wins, voice and tone and words what’s not said is also understood, but when we don’t get the voice, tone or the words wanted, the mind wins!

And when the series of events has occurred, the voice has given the reluctant response, conveying me to go away from my life, or at times people say it clearly to go away from life and the life which was life for us, leaves us. The voice, which was the life, leaves us.

Then the thought process begins, the words bangs on the head, which were spoken, the tone, the laugh, the cribbing, the crying or whatever it would have been. And I recalled the scene from Dhobi ghat, where the person writes something in the mud and the moment waves come; everything is washed away, yet the waves contains all the secret. And this voice becomes the sea for us.

And finally the voice leaves us. What am I searching in life? The person? The voice? Or the wave? I don’t know what I am searching? Or is it another voice that I am searching for the series of the events to take place? Or am I dreaming just another dream in which I heard a voice, and trying to recall what it said?

Life has to go on!

I wanted to do some thing new, thought to open my account in twitter, well I guess since the time social networking sites have come, we have switched to next as and when time moves ahead.

During my graduation I joined orkut, believe me first spelling I had typed to search orkut was aurkut, someone spelled that ways I got it half and decided to search. Then I joined facebook in my post graduation, in first year, I didn’t understand wasn’t operating the account much and focus was on orkut, yet I managed to open at times and understand, then as and when all my friends joined facebook, I understood, how it works and it became a daily routine, at times it also was an addiction, I guess addiction to orkut was more, and facebook was just to know what’s happening with friends, but not so keen about things.

Then today when I was going through the tweets learning how twitter works, came across an interesting article, of a person separated from a person very close to her, and how she tries to overcome the person, I guess it was a break up and she tries all possible methods to forget him, wondering why did he leave her. I was really stressed out reading until I read the last line which stated “ he gave me the best gift to me finally, he gifted me to myself” which bought in smiles on my face.

I wonder at times, we get so obsessed with things and people that we tend to forget ourselves, but at the same time, we change ourselves so much for the person that it becomes to find one’s real self after few years of time, the slang’s, the habits, the routine, is all used to according to people that it is difficult to change. I wonder how difficult it is to digest a fact that a person very close to you is dead, as that also ends up all the hopes of going back or getting back the person again in your life.

I have a strong faith in god so everything that I do, I believe “god made me do that”, well that’s a good excuse, but that applicable when good as well as the bad things happens, I can never say I am the reason of it, so I often land up asking god, when people are to be separated, why do they meet in life, when I have to be dead one day, why was I born? When I have to quit some thing, why at the first go, I did it, and not realizing that I cant sustain myself, that’s applicable for a job, for making friends and everything in life.

Often people say “ change is the only constant”, easy to say, difficult to understand, change for good, is acceptable, change for bad is not acceptable, when it had to change, why did it happen is what I wonder. The intensity of the change also makes a bigger difference, there are some changes in life, which is irreversible, and getting adapted to change is another face of concept. Level of adaptability differs from every individual, it easy for a person to break up and say “ I am breaking up” as the person can adapt to the change and accept it as soon as the things happen, but at the same time, it may not be by other person as in the case of the article I read.

But at the same time, positive attitude plays a huge role in lives. Optimism and pessimism, person who breaks up is pessimist, as they are sure that they cant go ahead with this, or rather their pessimistic attitude makes them feel so, and the one deals with it is highly optimistic as they have hopes to build, they search happiness in the broken relationship, remembering the happy memories and time spent together. They have their own expectation; they still want the happiness of the other person, so on and so forth. So I believe who faces the breaks in life has more courage and faith towards life, which will bring them up than those who run away from commitments and responsibilities.

Beyond this all there is another thought that’s going on my mind is, when I have to give my approval for a change to happen, then how do I deal with it. For example, when a person relocates for a job, willingly or due to circumstances, when a person is going to say yes for a person to get married to realizing that one has to spend their lifetime with them, without even knowing how the person will be, when a person has to leave the passion willingly because they want to do it for someone beloved, or when one has to part from another person for the happiness of the person like a mother sends a child to school, knowing the insecurities child will face in school, but she knows its for the child’s life. How do I approve for things, which I don’t want to happen?

So finally three situations arise,
1) Things happen because of someone else
2) Things happened which could not be stopped by anyone but the supreme power
3) Things happened because we approved for it


I believe the worst is the third situation, but as I said in my first paragraph, we have to move on with time, like I changed from orkut to facebook and twitter, I have to move on in life, and I have to approve for things, because life has to go on!!!!

One quiet friends (not a spelling error, I mean the title as it is)

I always believed in having a group of friends doing loud fun, but as I was sitting alone today and wondering who would be the best of friends whom I would invite for my marriage-no I am not getting married now, or i should put it this way, people who should be informed to attend my funeral-No i am dying also now:-).

No doubt the gang of loud people(who understands that I am referring to them while reading this, but they ,I guess never read my blogs, as they are focused on doing loud fun always) would come there, yet some silence prevails.

I have decided to mention about those silent friends here in this blog.

LKG,UKG(nursery and pre nursery’s I don’t remember and neither from 1st to third standard)from 3rd standard to 4th I had serious admirers, mostly guys because of the way they played cricket.

From 5th to 6th I had a quiet friend always, kamal K Sharma, whom I used to call Buddu Ram, we used to sit together and our birthdays were special for us, hers was on 8th November. We hardly used to share anything with each other, but she was my friend in need. I don’t know where on this earth she lives now, but I strongly believe, earth is round , and I will meet her one day.

Then from 6th to 8th I had another friend called Sumitha, about her I knew nothing, she also knew about me partially, but she was my benchmate and my friend in need. After that as my memory tells me, she changed the school, however I exactly don’t remember what was the reason.

From 8th to 10th I honestly don’t remember about a friend in need.
I am not talking about my Best friends, but only the quiet friends, whose presence affected my life, valued equally but was never declared in front of the world.

Then in 11th and 12th, there is a slight change, it wasn’t a girl but a guy-Rohit, and another small difference, he never helped me, but I did. He used to copy everything from my practical files, if he reads this, he would fume up, yes Rohit had the valid reasons why I gave him my files, he wasn’t well and was not able to come to school regularly. I don’t know where is Rohit now!

Without diverting from the topic, during my graduation, Neetu, I made it a point that unlike others, I should know where on this earth she is, and even today a message from her brings smile on my face and makes me remember her smiling face. She never knew me or the problems I had in life nor the happiness, but she was always there when I need her. As mentioned in my earlier blogs, I never attended college; I used to call her to get all the detailed information. She shared with me the news without expecting anything from me. I even now don’t know when is her birthday, but she promptly calls me on mine, I know I am very bad, but I also know she understands me that that’s how I am. I still remember a day when I reached college, once in blue moon, we never used to sit together as I was last bencher and she used to sit in between, she told “Sharanya aaj metrics ka mid term test hai”. Marks would be added in finals!my reaction was like “ SHIT”, she understood I will ask her why didn’t you tell me before and before I could ask her she told me “mujhe khud abhi pata chala”, I was like ab kya Karen? She was like “ Next class me hai I will sit with you in last bench and will study in this class.

I was like you are talking about studying in 45 minutes?pehle mujhe subject ka naam and the book bata,that I am supposed to open for it, was my reaction. I always relied on PN Sir ‘s notes (tuition sir because of whom I cleared the Mathematics Honours!) and I never had any books to study during graduation and PN sir used to teach different chapters at different time, as in not related to what is being taught in college. Notes nahi to kuch bhi nahi. Then she made it a point that I sit next to her and I pass in the internal exam, and I did.:-).

Then came my post graduation, I had one loud big gang of friends but had a quiet friend too. Again this time it was not a girl but a guy who was my quiet friend, Gaurav Lavania, when it is a guy I always helped, unusually I was first bencher as I had to be the gold medalist and wanted to be the first one to be placed, because of the guilt of spending lakhs of rupees of my parents. I used to keep talking about Lavanya (My sis) as I used to miss her since she was in hostel for an year for her post graduation, and Gaurav was called Lavania (his surname) and people misinterpreted that I talked about him. I once screamed Gaurav keep away from me or I will call you bhai and on rakhabandhan , after sadhna I am going to tie rakhi in ur hand…yaar I cant tolerate people making fun. And when i think of the reaction i gave him,how kiddish that was, i still am kiddish, thats a different story.I should say his attitude and my sis was so similar, that I missed my sister less, dono(Lavanya and Lavania) tension party the, I guess things changed during second year, we fought, or our Ego’s clashed (but I never had Ego problem) so I can say misunderstandings that without any reasons we both stopped talking or may be we got busy in our own lives.

In second year I got another quiet friend Preeti, our interactions started in the trip to Sringeri, had fought with my loud gang, I wanted a roommate for the trip and so did she, so I was with her. We started talking, and she became my quiet friend, and then her room in hostel was the place where I took the nap after exams as I used to be awake all night at home for the back to back exams and I wanted that an hours nap. I used to admire her self-centered attitude, the confidence and her hardworking nature, which inspired me more in life.

With this my life of college and studies is over and I am still in the process of exploring the corporate world and looking out for that quiet friend…:-)

When a person is lonely, they tend to pick up anything that comes on the way!

Well again I can say the source of my inspiration is from lines of a book of Cecelia Ahern. Not the exact line, but it meant, when a person is lonely, he/she tends to pick up anything that comes on the way.

As usual I am in my own thoughts. I thought about the decisions of my life which I took when I was lonely, lonely cannot be a right word used for me, as I have always been surrounded by my close ones, yet there were times, when I was. And I had to take my own decisions alone, or I was left to take my decisions alone.

No I never picked up things when I was lonely, I kept to myself, I thought a lot, I became frustrated or short tempered , but I just cannot accept anything and everything that comes on my way. Yet I have a reason of picking up things, whether it was my college, my career, my post graduation college, my job or my friends. I take the decisions when I am happy or completely contended in my life. As far as the career, college or life was concerned, it was one way decisions and just my own decisions.

Off late in my life, I was wondering how I could take such a wrong decision. I have never been wrong, trust me, my parents always left me to say a Yes or No or do whatever I wanted to. Not to boast about. It’s not only the trust they had in me that I can never do anything wrong, they also believed my judgment and my decision making skills.

But then I kept asking myself, how did I go wrong this? When did I go wrong, why did I take a wrong decision? I was wondering and as usual, my first and last love answered my question of my life. HOLD ON, DON’T WONDER WHOSE THAT, IT’S NOT WHO, IT’S WHAT AND THAT’S BOOK, NOVEL –MY FIRST AND LAST LOVE! The book of tomorrow- by Cecelia ahern answered my question this time.

When decisions related to people are concerned, we have to make sure that they take their decisions when they are happy, or contended. If people would take their decisions when they are lonely, they would pick anything that comes on their way. But I don’t want to be anything that’s picked on their way, as they are lonely, and because my support would take away the loneliness of person and they would realize that I was anything and everything that they didn’t want and would be thrown away soon or to be decent wouldn’t be bothered or required person on this earth for them.

So I decided, I would accept the decision of a person when they are happy, but yet thoughts don’t end at this. When I am out of the life the person, he again would be lonely and pick anything and everything that’s on their way and they will keep committing this mistake. Well that shouldn’t really bother me or rather it don’t.

Two thoughts crossed across my mind at this time, one was a word from a friend, if they don’t realize, that you were they when they needed someone, they don’t deserve you and another thought a Teacher of mine, if you want to know the real self of a person, pinch him and see how they respond, that is the reality of a person. Well that would mean create some kind of unwanted situation to see how a person responds.

As usual the two thoughts confused me. I was there when a person needed me, but that was a unwanted situation for the person, maybe I didn’t pinch him/her, it was their life that was playing game with them.
So let me try and conclude
1.Person was pinched
2.He/she was not happy / contended in life,
3.They picked everything/anything that came on their way
4.Those decisions taken by an individual when they are not happy are always wrong (according to my theory)

Going back to point number 1, by pinching a person they should reflect their real self by the concept of what my teacher taught me.

So as usual I throw open to you to decide, when a person is unhappy in life, do they make wrong decisions by picking whatever comes on the way, or by my teacher’s concept ,that is their real self , as they are pinched by someone or say the their own life!!!!!