I entered into the new house, people around were smiling. I felt good, yet all new faces. As I entered and saw my suitcase laying the corner, just wondered I am going to be here my life long. Tears were already rolling down my cheeks. Wanted to pick up my luggage, throw inside the car and go back home, the moment thoughts flashed across, I realized, I need to take his permission for using the car as it is HIS car. I went inside the washroom, to cry out loud, when I realized my hand was going to the left side of the door to open it, whereas the latch was at the right.
When I came out, he was sitting in the bed, watching TV. I looked at the TV, he was watching match. One more thing I am not used to, as no one in my family prefers to watch cricket match, till it’s not the match between India and Pakistan.
He looked at me and winked, I weakly smiled back. If it would have been my sister, in his place, immediately she would have screamed back, “ tu rokar aayi hai?, kyun???” but he was unperturbed. Match was more important than my emotions for him. He said without taking his eyes off the TV, everyone has left, what about dinner? I replied “let me go and check what is available in kitchen”.
As soon I entered the kitchen, I looked out of the window, and I looked at the setting sun. I realized this is setting sun of my life too, and thought tomorrow rising sun is going to the rise of the responsibilities. I couldn’t control my tears. I didn’t know what to call this; home sickness or tensions are being released after so many days of functions and series of events. All I knew was nothing was going the way I thought. One thing I realized was, mom had accepted this kitchen as her life and took it up as a challenge to cook new dishes and often I would laugh at mom & dad’s fights, when dad would comment on food cooked by mom saying “not good” or “salt or sugar is less”.
I cooked something manageable. Dal Chawal and some side dish. He didn’t like it, but he managed to say, “Its good”, for the heck of it, and for the sole reason that, any comment could lead him to miss the match. He went back, as he was checking the scores in the mobile while eating too. I hardly ate anything, but he hardly noticed that too because he was far too busy with his blackberry than to notice such things in life.
I went to the room, opened all the suitcases and got my first gift and knew for sure that it had a book, as my colleagues knew it well that my first and last love were books. Of all the gifts, I managed to bring that with me, and keep it safe. And the irony of my life was title of the book was “if you could see me now”, by Cecelia Ahern, I guess this is the last one that I haven’t read from this author, and my friends knew that as well. I laughed at the fate of my life and felt like screaming at him “if you could see me now, I am not happy”. “If you could see me now, I am crying”, “if you could see me now, I left everything for you”, “if you could see me now, I am missing my home” and lots more. But I preferred to keep quiet. I didn’t have any energy to talk.
I took the book out and sat in the sofa to read. Well he didn’t bother to realize I wasn’t in the room, so didn’t I care to be there. But I had always wanted someone who has take it easy attitude, but yet caring and understood my emotions. I don’t know if he did, but all I knew was; now I have to move forward and accept things as it is.
In midst of my thoughts, I never knew when I slept. I am not used to of sleeping without a blanket or jaipuri rajai or atleast a chaddar, so every night, out of habit or necessity , I would go around screaming around my home, who all don’t have chaddar, and give one-one to each and take one for myself and then go to sleep. But when I got up I realized, I slept without one, although I had sensed myself, trembling due to cold at night. But my parents were also not here to come and make sure to switch off the AC thinking it’s too cold. I got up and took few minutes to come back to reality. I looked at the wall at the right to check the time, where wall clock is put at my home, it wasn’t there, I turned towards left and still I could see one, finally I managed to look at the time in the clock behind the sofa.
I wasn’t running short of time, like I used to at my home. The sun had shone so bright that I had to get up early. I opened the door where he was sleeping and he was nicely sleeping inside a cosy blanket. I went near him, and asked slowly” match khatam?, he replied out of sleep “ haan , mumbai won”, I asked again “ office jana hai ya nahi?” , he said “nahi , I am exhausted, subuh 4 baje khatam hua match”, I realized , he had slept an hour back only. I put back his blanket and went out wondering what next?
Suddenly I caught the sight of my mobile, I looked at it, and it was flooding with “congratulations” and “happy married life” messages. I came out to the hall again and read every message one by one, and the last message was from my colleagues read “We would miss you in the tour, chatter box”. I looked at time, it was 7.00 AM, their bus for our team outing was at 9.30 pm to Sariska from my office. I thought,I can join them if I leave now. I messaged- I am joining you guys, arrange a seat for me too. I was given call after call, but I didn’t want to miss the bus. I attended one call from Rahul and he shouted“what was that message?” he was my junior but a very good friend at the same time. I got into my Boss mode and shouted “do what I say”.
I ran and got ready, I threw opened my luggage, picked up the cargo pants and shirts. I knew he hates messy room and would fume up when he would get up. So what, even I hate cricket match. When he didn’t care, I believe I shouldn’t care either. I opened the curtains of his room in anger and went to the table and wrote a note “Match will make your breakfast and coffee, going to sariska with friends”. Keep the dinner ready, would come back home, might be late.
I felt all the emotions I had the day before was because of feeling sick to leave everything, I wanted him to feel how I had felt. I went to the door, wondered if I take a metro or auto I would be late. my eyes fell on his car keys. I thought when my life is his, then his car is mine, I picked the keys,banged closed the door behind and reached office and all screamed there looking at me “how come you are here?” I smiled “ bina chatter box ke team enjoy nahi kar sakti laga, so I am here.”
Note: The story is purely imaginative and any resemblance to any person or incident is fictions.
