Tata-We will miss you!

As I got a call from my mom early in the morning on Friday, 19th July at 5.00 am, I started to shiver even before I picked the call. I knew she wouldn’t call me at such odd hours. I picked the call and didn’t say “hello” and said “amma kya hua, sab theek to hai?”

She cried “Sonu…” In Bangalore's cold weather I started to sweat and I shouted “maa , tell me what happened”. She finally said “Tata is in ICU, leave now for Coimbatore”. I took a sigh and said “Oh Ohk, then I will take the bus tonight and come” and then she was like “no leave now, he is no more”. The world around stopped for a minute. My mind wasn’t ready to accept! And I left immediately.

"Tata" my grand father as we all called him,was a man who we all adored! His absence has created a void in the family, which I believe could never be fulfilled! I would list some of his best qualities that we all (his daughters and granddaughters) have inherited and carry with us in our lives.


Never give up attitude
With his never give up attitude we can’t say “May his soul rest in peace”; all we can say is “All the best god, he has come to fight you now”: He always had a motive in his life. Having a family of all daughters and granddaughters (No sons for last two generations), the wedding topic has always been a hot topic or an issue whatever we may call it.

For last two months my grandfather had been extraordinarily aggressive about getting his granddaughters married. Most of us fall in the age group of 22-29 which is often the crucial age for getting married. He would call my mom and aunts and scold that you people are not searching properly and then he would call us (cousins) one by one and ask “tell me if you have already seen anyone” and when we would refuse, he will give details about some guys and without knowing how to respond we would give some or the other excuse and finally he gave up. No actually he never can give up.

He had brought up his daughters in such a way that each of them had the power to fight the world and we all granddaughters inherited that from our mothers! He had to fight us all who were 12 times his power, and finally he convinced himself, it’s better that I go and fight with god rather than fighting them all.

Man of self-respect
Whenever we all would go out for tour, to temple or anywhere and if by mistake we would lend our hand for support, he would say “no I will manager on my own”. I remember there were times, when I would try to slightly hold elbow to ensure he is fine, he would shrug my hands off. He walked till his death bed at ICU without anyone’s support.


Passion to live life
The day before he died he got his Aadhar card made and when my mom scolded why did you do that? He said I will live for another four years so that I would start getting double pension as I will be 90 years old. Although he was 86 years old, he would immediately agree to go out and eat pizza or burger unlike other 85 year old people who would refuse to go out. There have been no weddings or family functions which he would have missed so far in his life.

Last year we were in the stage of some personal crisis at home, we had asked my grandparents to spend time with us. Me and my sister would return home from office at 10.30 pm and my grand pa would be awake for us to finish to dinner. Then he will come and ask “Shall we all play one game rummy (cards game)?” He did almost every day for one month to ensure we are all fine. And it was never over with one game. I used to make fun of him, when you will die, I bring cards in front of you and you will get up and say “ek game khel ke fir marunga yaar”.


Change with the trend
When I saw his oldest radio in his home two days back while cleaning, I broke out crying because there was a point of time in life when we all cousins used to stay in his home during summer vacations and he would early in the morning put some loud devotional song in that radio and come and keep it in ours ears to wake us up. Most of the time my youngest aunt would threaten him that she will throw it out of the window if he did that next day onwards. We grew up and his radio was replaced by a small new one with headphone, which was then replaced by his mobile radio and now when I had been to his home on Diwali, he played loud music in his LCD TV to wake me up. I came out of the bedroom shouting “Tataaaaa, switch it off” and he smiled “get up, its time” and it was 5.30 am in the morning.

Well Diwali reminds me that for almost last 15-20 years, on every Diwali he would say “This is my last Diwali” and we would all laugh saying “we have been hearing this for last 15 years and you would be saying the same next Diwali also”. But I think this was the only Diwali when I didn’t hear him saying that!

Last time when he had come home, he got his Gmail ID created and asked me to teach him to operate it. And best was he called e few months back and asked “what is your matrimony ID?” my reaction was “what?” he asked back “ tell me your ID” and when I said I don’t know he took it from my mom and he would ask guys parents for the matrimony ID, go to his neighbors home and check their profiles! At 86, expecting him to check the profile of the guys online was the least expected thing!


Perfectionism was his style
This January when I took him to show the flat, he went around the house as we all did and when we reached the reception back, he pointed out 3 things saying the door paint was done only once, you were supposed to do two coatings, one tap is leaking and we had asked you to put a AC plug on other bedroom and you have put a normal power plug! I kept staring at him with my eyes wide open. There were time when any of our flats would be under construction, he ensure till the fact that tile colors matched the wall paint. He would stand in sun for hours together to ensure that they do the construction properly.

After his death when we opened his documents,they were all neat and clear in a manner that everyone could understand . He ensured that even in his absence, my grandmother or any of us do not face any challenge. It was till the level that he has planned for the amount that would be spent for his funeral and from which bank it has to be. His death was as fast and perfect as were other things in his life.


His love for my grandmother was eternal
His commitment, loyalty and love for my grandmother were commendable. They both couldn’t live a minute alone without each other.55 years of their life which spent together and every day till his last he used to impress my grandmother. They both threw tantrums as they were young couple in college. When my grandfather would walk my grandma to some place, she would stop in between and say “auto karo, warna I am not coming home”. Whenever they were both asked to take a pic together, he would put his hands around her and she would blush at that. He would switch on the TV every day and ask her to watch the serials and when my grandmother would fall asleep in between; he would wake her up and say abhi khatam nahi hua hai or at times next day he would give update of what happened yesterday. My grandfather would give my grandmother the medicines and just to irritate him she might not eat and pretend that she forgot. After my grandmother had her eye surgery, he ensured that he did the cooking and she only assisted as the doctors had said she has to keep away from spices and heat as it is not good for her.

 

Tata & Pati

These are just few of the instances. To put everything in word is not possible as there are endlness moments and things that we learnt from him. All I can say is “we will all miss you tata and all that we can do is to promise that we would take care of Pati as you did”!


Tata with his granddaughters!

 

The Choice or The Chance

Yet another book and there comes the next blog! No this time it’s not Cecelia Ahern as I have already finished all her books and waiting for the next one. This time it’s “The choice” by Nicholas spark! Well I feel I have become a book reviewer than a blogger these days as all my blogs are written on some book.

Off late I have been contemplating a lot about the existence of the support system around us, which is hardly acknowledged until we come across with some issues and realize their existence. Well to put it clear, when I see people in my office who clean the washrooms i felt no one cares about their contribution for the company or in our lives. As I see the cafeteria Bhaiya always smiling standing behind the cash counter when he would take the order of the food that we give, we hardly bother their existence in our lives. Recently as I shifted to my service apartment, I wasn’t getting hot water in the tap. Well my age old problem of wanting the “hottest water” even in the “hottest weather” was creating problems for me. I couldn’t sleep all night wondering if the problem would be fixed by tomorrow or not and luckily they did.

Well there are many similar things in life which are thought to happen obviously and we ignore them.

The author had got everything in life but a sudden accident in which his wife goes to coma state, who recovered in the end, made him enjoy the smallest of the things when things got normal. I believe everyone is not as lucky as the author to get the second chance, but I wondered why we do not realize that in the first ever chance and make the most of the “THE PERFECT” life we get. 

Defining the “The perfect life” is to be successful by earning amount of money to live a decently lavish life, which when drilled down would lead to being with friends and family.

Gone are the days when we would be happy with “roti , kapda aur Makan”. Talking about the decently lavish life is where we expect a little beyond the capability. We just don’t want Roti but want “shahi paneer” with that. Kapda of a good brand would make us feel us more confident. Makaan, well we don’t want a house but a “home”.  I feel there is nothing wrong in these expectations. sBetter are the wishes, the more would we strive to achieve them in life. In olden days, people expected less, earned less and got what they want. Hence they were satisfied. In today world, we expect a little more so we work a little more to get what we want.  But the point is, are we satisfied when we achieve what we want? Do we celebrate the success or we just set the next target for the life and move on?

The final destination to happiness is being with family and friends. We earn so that they can live happily. No matter how much we get paid, but it’s the time to get back home from when we are the happiest  as we know someone or there are some people who are there waiting for us. When I live alone, for me it’s the same if I am in office or at home as it’s all about the four walls and laptop but that’s not the case when I am at home with my family. Or rather I spend time at office because my friends are there. We can spend off our life’s earning if we realize that it is going to give one more day of life to our dear ones! Money does bring the support system in place which adds to the happiness or satisfaction level! But more than often it’s the family who are taken for granted, where things are considered to be obvious, which may or may not remain the same tomorrow!

Wondering ………..Is it about the choice in life or the chance in life? Or is it the choice to be happy in the first chance, rather than waiting for the right chance and left with no choice!