I am sorry, i didnt say a goodbye, because i wanted to see your anger when we meet again!I love you!

I went inside and he was standing right at the gate shouting at me as he was very angry and also sad (the reason of which I came to know later although). As soon the gate was opened, I just stood, was scared as to how he will react? It has been months that I have seen him and he did nothing but just stared at me and went back inside the house and slept. I said nothing and as usual people around the house were talking and laughing. Uncle, aunty were asking me about my job, about the place, and then as usual the retail topics, and finally topics about matrimony started. The last topic always make me fly from the place, so I got up and moved to the TV room, and since I wanted to irritate him, I switched on the TV with full volume, he got up and looked who was doing that, looked at me, smiled at me and again slept. I continue flipping channels till uncle came and said, come lets all go out for dinner, and he asked are you coming looking at him, now that he was even more angry with the volume of TV, that he barked back in anger “NO”. and we all left and had a nice dinner at the club and as usual the heart of a mother and the understanding which a mother has with child can never be competed, aunty and ma said, we will pack the dinner for him, and we went back home. Uncle said come lets go for walk, I wanted to say, no uncle I am very lazy to go for walk, and would prefer to go back home and fight with him, as he has been showing so much of rudeness to me, but I thought, if I don’t go now uncle will say, come lets go for jog and that too in the morning, He would also go, and I wanted to avoid it, so agreed now itself.

Aunty and ma went back home, asked him to eat the food. Then aunty told, he was very sad because grand ma has been away for more than a month, and he has been missing her a lot. I understood may be that’s the same reason he has been angry with me.


I got back home and he got into the bed to sleep even before we could. And ma was telling me, In the morning, since everyone at home had woken up, he went near you, tried pulling your bedsheet and wake you up, but everyone called him , so he came back to let you sleep.

I didn’t even realize that, but I was laughing when ma told me this. I went inside kitchen to make the coffee, he was right behind .And then with the coffee I was reading newspaper, he came near me and I took him in my lap, he sat there keenly looking at the paper and saying sorry for all the anger he had been showing on me. I hugged him tight and when I came out after shower, he was right there outside the door,looking at me, with the fear in his eyes that I also have left him like his grandma. And whole day we both played together and in the end he was sleeping that I quietly left the place, which otherwise he would have been really difficult for everyone as he would not have let me go.I am sorry, i didnt say a goodbye, because i wanted to see your anger when we meet again!I love you!

Well here I introduce you all to my old friend but a recent one, Timmy-shouldn’t be calling him a DOG, as he is more of the KID of the family than the DOG. I believe he understands what attachment is than the human being. He knows the value of humanity around. And I am glad people understand your faithfulness and loyalty because you are a dog. I wish I was born as a dog than a human being!

Place or People

I prefer taking the window seat in the cab which is third from the beginning and second from the end. Today luckily I was the first pick up, so I choose my favorite seat. I take the two seater so that I and my sis can sit, but today since we had a fight in the morning, she didn’t sit with me. The activity which I usually do in the mornings is to read a book and at night during my travel time, I listen to music. In the mornings when I read book, I prefer to keep the things in hand on my side so that it is convenient for me to read.

So I was sitting and started to read the book, Namesake, sorry I just read 15 minutes a day so it’s taking me more than usual to finish it. So in many of my earlier blogs also there has been reference of the book. As I was reading another person boarded the cab, he sat in last seat and in two minutes changed the seat next to mind, opening the half opened window of mine , fully. We are a democratic country, and he had the freedom to sit anywhere he wanted, I took my bag and put it at the back seat. As I was reading, I was feeling uncomfortable, not for the fact that the person was sitting next to me but also that he took away my space. In my MBA we were taught every individual had his comfort space around him/her which has to be understood and if you talk going inside his comfort space, his attention to your words will be reduced so is the case when you are too far away from the comfort space.

I was thinking all this, I was wondering comfort space may not only being around, but in terms of topics, issues and involvement of an individual in our lives. There may have been people in whose life I got in their comfort space by getting myself so much involved d in their life that they have got uncomfortable with me, or maybe there are people who try to get into my comfort space making things uncomfortable for me. This was all back mind thought process, in the actual I was reading and the story revolved around the fact that Ashima, wife of Ashoke is giving her last party to her friends and family after the death of her husband before selling the house in America in which she and her husband started their lives. And she is going back to her roots in Calcutta, but she thinks she is very different from what she once had come from Calcutta.

I started thinking how lives change, and that’s something we don’t imagine to change in the way. I was born here in Chennai and now that I have come back to my roots, yet things may not the same, people may be, places may be the same, but I am not the same person as what I had left. I have my passport, license, my college, my schools everything which has an address of Delhi. When I will be back home in Delhi, I know what I am not supposed to do, all of which I am doing here.

I at times wonder how my parents could move to strange place and they have created a beautiful life around them, where every stranger is a family. It’s not just my parents, but thousands of Tamilians who have moved away from their life in search of a new life and created a life in a place so strange.

Here within the families itself I observed the comfort space are so different that I doubt how much they all can get involved in each other lives. Everyone says we are social and have their own circles of friends of and non family-families and that’s their life. Though case in similar for our lives in Delhi, but the difference is that it’s a life where everyone came together to help the ones who need, as they all knew we have none other than these people who are a family to us. And that’s a case especially with people like my parents who are first generations settlers in a place outside their own native places.

And when we settle in a place which is not our own, our thought process, mindset changes not just because we started to live there, because there is a need to change. I have to eat the kind of food they eat there, not because we are copying them, but that’s what is available there, and with time we get habituated to the foods that it can’t be changed so soon again when we are back. It’s just that the comfort spaces change according to the place, and if I am asked to come back to comfort zone according to this place, it has to be understood that I have developed this comfort space during 20 years of my life, the major part of my life.

All the thoughts apart, I don’t know how my life is going to change in next twenty years; I will not be same person as what I am today. I even don’t know if things will change for good or for bad. How many good situations I have to see in life, what all I have to compromise and what all god will give me, what I deserve, but I doubt if my love for Delhi will ever reduce because that’s the place where I have seen all the Ups and Downs of my life. But for my parents, their preferences changed as they started liking a place which they kind off moved to, when they were in the same situation as I am now. Or I wonder if it is with experience that we would grow mature and accept everything happily that’s come on our way, because at the end of the day, we all have one life, which we have to live, what so ever it be, how so ever it be. My parents choose to live happily instead of regretting what they don’t have, they accepted what they have.

One last thought is, is that the place they started loving, or is it the people around whose support increased their love for the place?

Entrance exam for getting married!

I have lost the habit of reading newspaper. There was time when mom used to scold for not reading newspaper, the reason in particular that my sis wanted to be a journalist, which she did become, but I doubt how reading newspaper helped in that. And there was a time when mom used to shout on us to read the newspaper as we would pick up the tea and land up in balcony reading paper for hours. But now I cant imagine doing that because what runs in mind as soon as I get up is what work I have to do? kapde dhona hai, pata nahi balcony me kabootar ne kya hulchul machaya hoga that I am supposed to clean and what am I supposed to cook? Office me jakar will I be able to relax or am I going to have work there…………too many of them, to think of a Monday morning tires me now. Let me not think about that now, I still have 12 hours for all these thoughts. In fact last to last week I asked newspaper distributor not to put paper as we don’t read it at all, and it directly goes to waste paper bin, but he continued putting. So I on a Sunday picked paper, thinking don’t know how long he will put, so let me read it.

I usually love reading editorial pages as it does contain news, which can be understood even if I don’t know any background. This time I came across an interesting article –Entrance exam for getting married, words may not be same, but essence was this and I was more interested because It was written by a person with surname sahoo and I once had a severe crush on a journalist named sahoo, in an award function where I was a volunteer and he had come there to cover the event. After that whichever office my sister was, I used to tell her, if u come across sahoo, convey my “HI” to him and we would laugh, there are thousands of them in this media field.

So the article had various question that a to-be-bridegroom comes across when he attends a social event. I was like pretty partial article, focusing only on one side of the story. I continued reading and found it contained all the questions he comes across, and few of them which I still retain in my mind was regarding his company and then salary, designation. Followed by question if he had been for any foreign trip and all that. And I was taken to my thoughts? Is this what parent’s look for while getting their daughters married? Yes may be! They have all rights to know, because it’s after all their daughter’s life and they want it to be good. Then I was wondering what are the questions that a to be bride would come across. I never had a personal experience and don’t want to have either because I just don’t understand how two unknown people can spend their lives together, unfortunately I am in that list where I have to but the thought itself gives me shivers and I start trembling. I read the same lines in Namesake yesterday when googol also in the same thoughts, how two unknown people can get married and spend their lives together.

I often divert a lot in my blogs, the topic to be discussed was questions asked to a bride.

Ohkkkk…now let me come to questions
o What have you studied? Yes I am perfectly eligible in that note, I am well read, among the toppers (Want my mark sheets and reports cards since nursery? I have them;-)) I am really sorry when things come to this institution of marriage I become sarcastic or rather sarcasm due to aggressiveness
What else can I be asked?
o Do you know how to cook? No but I know how to drive a car so in case if I cook something so bad, I can rush you to hospital rather than waiting for ambulance. ;-)
o Will you work after getting married? I don’t mind sitting at home but I will drive you crazy, so you would find it better to let me work. And I haven’t studied all these years in my life to sit idle at home obviously, so that’s a nonsense of the questions that can be asked. No I don’t think I will be asked that question.
What else hhmmmm????this is tough to think, thinking questions for normal job interviews was damn easier! Let me think, let me think….
o Sirf Indian dresses pehenti ho ya western bhi?I am beautiful and smart, so I guess I can wear everything(thoda overconfidence hai,i understand, par question bhi thoda aisa sa tha na-HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION) , provided you don’t expect me to be in a saree in a DJ night. I know how to get dressed according to occasions, so you would really not have to bother on that note.
o Will you put up with in-laws? Are you asking me or telling me is what I would want to ask on that. I would always prefer without in-laws because if I am with them, I would feel even more sorry that my parents are living all alone, and why should I give all the happiness to you which my parents are to be given because its ultimately they who has bought me up the way I am ……a question to prove that I have committed a mistake of being born a girl….nahi yaar people are sensible , so they really wouldn’t ask such questions
o One more thing that is crossing across my mind is regarding dowry. I don’t think people in today world ask for this, I watch a lot of movies, so have negative thoughts about arranged marriage from them. But if at all they ask, what will I do? Dialing 100?old style, uncle aunty, sorry, is your son only worth few lakhs or thousands? I wanted him to worth infinite money, which according to you, he is not, so I wouldn’t want such a person. Dowry me aaj kal , tanga toda nahi nahi….what is that yaar? In Tamil? I am not getting that word, haan ….“Waira Todu” diamond earring people ask, they do, very recently I have come across marriages in which they have asked saying its an asset for your daughter only. I was wondering how can a diamond earring be an asset to me? …I wear baby studs even now, my mom gets irritated when go to buy an earring for us, because we go only to the baby stud section and we land up fighting this is too small, but we say that’s what we want!
o Again diverted, let me focus on questions to be asked to bride and not the parents. One more thousand dollar question- did you like the guy…ha ha…I don’t know if he can talk properly, just by the look how can I say he is good? Yes yes he is good but I don’t want to marry him is all what I can say at that point. lol
o Do you want to ask something? Yes thousand of questions, I have a questionnaire prepared (sorry in two years of my MBA, I did prepare only questionnaires), is your son good at written round or in interview. Questions in written are very easy and most of them objective only, so I guess he should pass ;-)!

ARE YOU READY for questionnaire after the long interview that you have taken of mine?;-)