I want to give a disclaimer even before I start writing something.
This blog has no relevance to any individual or situation and most of the experiences are imaginative!!
These are going to be combination of funny and angry moments.
So the blog is going to be on the guy and girl who gets married. It’s like life after death kind of situation. Uh, wedding is like “life after death” is not my version, but it’s the version given for a guy’s life by his family and friends, after bachelors party and after marriage also.
What friends think about the guy after wedding
He never comes out for late night parties and drinks, it seems that the girl is a control freak. Or may-be she is not social, so he is embarrassed to get her out to meet all of us. Seems she doesn’t drink, so he can’t get her out and can’t leave her alone either. They do leave once in a while message saying “What macha, you have forgotten about us after wedding”. Thanks to movies like pyar ka punchnama, that friends and for that matter families imagine the guy is going around shopping with the girl, holding the shopping bags for her on weekends. Some also ask him “When are we going to have next boys trip?”
What relatives think (extended families, this includes girls side families as well)
Oh, the girl is so lucky to have got this boy. He has bought a BIG car, he has bought a BIG house. He is doing so well at work (by the official travel check-ins to US, UK, London or Australia on Facebook). He is so social and gets along with the girls family also so well. True, but that’s not the end of the story or this is what exactly is projected to be seen by all.
What families think (immediate families)
Our son has become so responsible and works so hard in office. He has learnt to cook after wedding and cooking for the girl (for making tea in the morning and to cook rice once or twice in a month as the girl may be busy working). He is doing all household work also (for ordering vegetables online after 5 to 10 reminders by the girl, which he does forget after 10 reminders also at times). He has become family oriented. May be because he wasn’t used to doing even the basics at his house, so this seems a big deal.
Here is what a guy truly does
Monday to Friday-
• Makes tea
• Reads newspaper for 30 minutes
• Get ready and leave for office at 8.45.
• Calls wife during lunch for 2 min to ask if she reached her office(your lunch is her start time at work ) that too only if guy has time, otherwise she should understand that he was busy
• Come back at 7.00. Watch TV, eat if wife has cooked, or order from outside and sleep.
Saturday – Almost the same, leaves for office by 9.30. You see he gives an extra 30 minutes to wife- BIG DEAL. And return early say 5.30 to take a short nap and all set for going out to eat or party with guy’s families or friends. Besides all this, there is always an uncertainty factor to his office timings and travels. There would be times when he may come back really late or leave as early as 6.00 am also when he has to travel somewhere.
Sunday –Is all reserved for sleep and rest for the guy and match (football or cricket or some sports final does come on TV). He should relax so that he can work well during the week for next 6 days. What better can he do other than watching TV!
Here is list of few things that a girl has to do after wedding
List is besides working at office for 9 hours and that doesn't include the travel time of 3.5 hours on a daily basis.
•Cooking is an inevitable role that the girl has to take up after wedding. No it’s not cooking that is difficult, but to plan what has to be cooked and ensuring the vegetables for that is available and cutting part that takes time.
•Cleaning the house- Yes I have a maid to do all the work but I need to keep a track that she comes on time, because if she doesn’t come on time, I get late to work. It’s never a guy has to wait and go late, he has to LEAVE for OFFICE by 8.45 which is 10 min away by drive.
•Clearing the house- OK, how is this different from cleaning? Maid does only the basics. She doesn’t not put socks from the guy’s shoes in the socks box for wash. She doesn’t take the shirt and shorts sitting right on the top of dining table to the washing machine. She doesn’t look around the house for the car keys and put it at the right place so that guy doesn’t have to waste time searching early in the morning. She doesn’t fold the bed on a daily basis so that the guys doesn’t forget his spectacles or wallet or phone.
•The weekends are usually reserved for bigger cleaning like bathroom and shelves. Paying off the bills like phone bills, Wi-Fi, electricity which in my house is definitely a women’s responsibility. Evenings are to socialize with family and friends.
•Sundays starts late because of the late night parties by 5.00 am and then are meant for elaborated lunch and dinner as the guy happily watch his matches .My husband is gracious enough to occasionally ask me “do you want any help” and waits for me to say a “NO”. Yes often goes unheard.
•Washing clothes- According to guys, all you have to do is switch the machine on. No that’s not all. You have to check when washing gets over, put it to dry, get it back and often keeping a check on weather to ensure it doesn’t get wet when it rains, fold and keep it back in the place so that next day when you get up, it is in the same place where you always pick it from.
•Cut vegetables and stock it up, so that I can save some time during the week as I make time in between my calls to cook dinner.
•Some-time of the month also goes off in doing bit of financial planning for the house. Attending friends and cousins weddings and travel for the same. From travel what I can remember is the long weekends of the year where the guy thinks of planning outing with his boys’ friends, I wonder if I can visit my parents. But finally I will get to know there would be some festival (holidays are always given for festivals in our country) for which I have to be mandatorily present at his house or his office.
•After all this if I have any time left, I need to run to parlor to look presentable always
So next time as a friend or a relative when we comment on life being doomed after wedding, we need to re-think whose life is ruined after wedding?
I am not sayings it’s always a girl who suffers, it may be the guy taking up more responsibility as well. But it’s definitely good, not to make a generic comment or judgment and empathize with both the guy and the girl who are getting married or already married.
And last but not the least, when I go to my husband crying about feeling bad about any of the things above, all he says is “You are imagining, No one thinks or says anything like that”. Hence in the beginning was the imaginative disclaimer.
