I stood there near the reading window of mine, in my golden Saree, looking at the silver moon shining in the sky. Moon was my best friend. I spoke it, I hated, I fought with it, and I wrote blogs on it. I used to look at it when I was alone.
As I was looking at it, I went back to the memory of the day, when I was talking to him and he said, “I am in the 9th floor of the flat, looking out of the French window”. He said, “it’s raining and moon is looking so pretty, playing hide and seek with the clouds”. As usual I cribbed, “I am sitting inside office, and I can’t go out and all windows have been sheeted and so many people around that I can’t see the moon, don’t irritate me”. He used to love the tantrums I threw and said, “Let me suggest something”. I knew it would be one of the bad ideas of the earth that he can come up with. He said “go and look at yourself in the mirror”. I was quiet, and didn’t understand what he said, took time to recall and understand, as I didn’t expect something like this from him.
There was a knock at the door. I looked out and it was Vishal standing there, with the modest smile on his face as ever. I looked at him and smiled back. Vishal knew my nerves and would have understood I was thinking about him. He knew I loved talking about him also. So he asked me “thinking about him”. I could feel the lump in my throat. I was controlling my tears hard and nodded saying, “Yes”. I looked up at him and said, “main is rishte ko sachai ki buniyaad pe shuru karna chahti hun”. He didn’t say anything, came near me and we both stood near the window watching the moon. He said “ your fiancé got fierce at the thought of you going out with dinner with me, and you think he would be able to take up this talk on your relationship? What is it that you want to tell him? There was guy in your life, who had hurt you so much, because of his problems and so you got the courage to face all difficulties? Don’t give me all this crap Riya; he moved back, come on wind up, everyone is waiting for you downstairs.” I couldn’t speak yet I spoke “you are right. Wooh bhi yehi kehta ta, jhoot bolna galat hai, par chupana nahi.He fumed up at this when he heard me saying Wooh bhi yehi kehta tha. He shouted “Will you stop this!!!!!!!, he hardly cares about you, if he would have, aaj who hota neeche, tumhara intazaar karte hue”. I looked at him and tears were falling down my cheek.
Yes today is my D-day. My death day. I hated this institution of marriages and that too an arranged marriage. I wasn’t over of the nightmares of such things that I was forced to do one. Vishal my best friend knew everything. He knew he would have to face all this as well.
He came near me and said “you know what? You are looking like an angel, and it’s not you who is the loser, but he. You must be one of those lucky people to get a person like Nitin as a life-partner. Nitin is a very good guy”. “Importantly you parents would be happy, look at the happiness in their eyes, that's what you always wanted right?”.
With tears falling I nodded “Yes, you are right", bringing back the smile, laughed saying "let me get back to my positivity syndrome.” As soon as we both turned back to go and join others in wedding hall, I was frozen to death when I saw Nitin standing right at the door. I wanted to clutch Vishal’s hand fiercely as I am used, when I am terribly scared and realized I have committed some mistake. I didn’t because I knew Nitin Hated that.
I didn’t say anything, but my dearest friend Vishal, must give credit to his courage to break the silence, said, “So all set, shall we go downstairs? And by the way yaar tu yeh bata bachelors party kab dega?” I tried bringing smile on my face. But Nitin’s face was cold without any response which otherwise is very expressive. Nitin replied cold, I want to talk to her alone for a moment Vishal. Vishal looked at me and winked, and said All right and tried joking "I will listen with my ears at the door". I felt Nitin was insulting Vishal, wanted to say, Vishal knows everything about me, more than you, what privacy are you wanting, but like a drunk person, mind was thinking everything but was not able to implement my responses. And I absolutely knew Vishal would even hear from door, if he felt that was necessary. He was crazy. And that was what had made us so good friends. He loved my craziness and I loved his stupidity.
All of a sudden, don’t know what Nitin felt, he said, “ in fact Vishal, there is nothing to hide from you, so I guess it is better you should be here along with us.” I felt very confused what is that this guy is wanting at this last minute of the hour? I hated last minute things in important things. Nitin said loudly, ever more loudly I have heard of him. He said “Let me introduce you to my friend Ritesh. Ritesh please come in.”. I stood there numb; looking from Nitin to Ritesh. I didn’t know what to say. I knew Vishal wouldn’t say anything. He knew I talked about my past, but he never knew his name was Ritesh and have never seen him either.
Nitin broke the silence this time, you guys were talking about him few minutes back and looked at me and asked “why are you silent now?” Ritesh was staring at me, with his eyes almost red, I knew he would have been drunk the days before, had he been aware of my wedding. I didn’t inform him though. Vishal looked at me confused. I said “its him Vishal”. I don’t know what he felt, he moved out of the room.
Tears started falling down my cheek. Didn’t know what to say. I knew my parents would disown me, if this marriage stops. I had hidden this secret from Nitin not because I wanted to hide, but I felt that was right to do. I turned my back to window and started crying loudly confused.
Suddenly someone came in front of me and tried moving my hands from my face. I looked up crying and it was Nitin. I broke out “ Nitin, I wanted to tell you everything, but !!!!” He brought his hands and wiping tears said, “ I am sorry”. I was confused thinking I should be the one saying sorry, replied “Nitin don’t embarrass me by saying sorry”. He replied “ I read your diary that day when I was waiting for you at your office reception, kept in your bag. I was looking for a novel which you usually keep and caught a glimpse of it, and couldn’t resist reading”. He went on “I knew why you have hidden everything and I know you truly love me as well your parents.” Why Ritesh is here is not because you love him, but I know what it means to see ones beloved getting married to someone else. I wish I had the courage to stop Preeti, my first love, my life from getting married. I wish I had the courage to go and tell her parents, I loved her and wanted to marry her, I couldn’t Riya and we both lost our love. She moved on, I tried hard, and I am still trying. When you came in my life, I thought life has given me all what I wanted, but deep within my heart I regretted for having lost my first love”.
I broke out crying wondering why ever did Nitin hide this from me? I would have helped him prove him wrong or may be my respect for him would have increased or may be, that would have given me an opportunity to tell something about me, which I otherwise hesitant about. Probably then I realized that we both waited for other to say something.
I sat on the bed and besides me stood the two people I loved the most…………
Note: The story is purely imaginative and any resemblance to any person or incident is fictions.
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