Am I a feminist?

Ok, this blog again comes after a long time.
I have been doing too much of a travel and getting too less time to spend alone as well. I am either with family, or with colleges and if not anything, I drive. I can’t read or write when I am driving. So in one my recent flight back from my home, I picked up this book of Chetan Bhagat – One India Girl.
Many people do not like Indian authors and I feel it’s like a style statement for people to say “I hate Indian Authors” or “I hate Indian Actors”. I love them both. I love Chetan Bhagat’s books and also Indian actor’s movies including Shahrukh Khan. At the end of the day, it’s their profession and they worked hard to reach wherever they are. I respect that fact.

For those who have read the book, they know where this blog is coming from. And for those “Who don’t read Indian authors”, I am not going to write the summary here. The authors write to sell their books and I will respect that fact also.


So the blog is about random thoughts which came to my mind me while reading the book.

•Does Indian society still cannot accept women who are opinionated and feminist?

If a girl doesn’t follow the norms, does that mean she is “mad”, “crazy” or “needs a psychiatric treatment? ’ Just because you or your family have been doing something or it’s been happening that way in society, is not just the right way to do certain things.

Times change, things change, opinions change. If you haven’t changed, that is not my problem or girl’s problem. But that doesn’t mean I need to follow each and everything the way it has been. I can create my own ways. I CAN have opinions about things which may not be the same as what you have been thinking. If 24 was the right age according to you have girls married, for me it could be 30 or even 32. If multiple degrees is a wastage according to you, earning money to do nothing is a wastage according to me. The

Indian society needs to stop judging girls and women with their differences in thoughts and opinions, for now we have reached a state where we have stop bothering about what the society thinks or says as well.
If society thinks, women will eventually give up on their differentiated thoughts and opinions, it could be other way round as well.



•Do Indian parents still brag about the weddings of their daughters than their education or career?

Recently I had been to a wedding and while returning my Mom-in-law said “if I would have had a daughter, this is how I would have done the wedding”. No offense to her or anything or their thoughts. I respect her for the level of sacrifices she has made and at the end of the day, I can empathize with her for being a women as well.

Fortunately or unfortunately – my parents believed in bragging about our education qualification and degrees we earned. They believed in showcasing our talent. Given a choice they would have preferred displaying the trophies and degrees during the wedding rather than jewelry or sarees. It was extremely disappointing for me that in my wedding, all extended relatives asked about jewelry and saree and not what I have studied and where I am working or what I am earning.

I wondered, I can never have my mother in law saying, if I would had a daughter, I would have ensured she would got this degree or become a doctor, engineer or a scientist. They still believe in teaching their daughter household work than making them financially independent by educating them.


•Does women still have to choose between their career and home?

Why do we always need to make a decision? Can a guy make the same decision or can I even dare to ask him that? Please sit at home and look after kids and I will play your role. When we don’t, why do women still have to come across this questions? We both go out and work, we both can share the household chores easily. My last blog has too many details on this so I am not elaborating further.


•Can Indian society accept the girl earning more than their son?

Million dollar question. I do not have an answer. Probably there should be a survey done on matrimony.coms to understand this point.

For me, I do not see anything wrong, but then yes, guys need to plan how they manage to keep up with expenses, if their wives decides to take a break or rather a maternity break.
Will society have a problem? As long as we lie to them and show the guys salary as more, they wouldn’t I suppose. Before the wedding, you disclose, chances of getting married is less. After the wedding, if it is disclosed, chances of marriage to break is more, for they can hurt the ego of men by saying “she is showing off with her income” without anyone doing anything!

Guys need to take a call- do they want to disclose their salaries as high or low, or they do not want a girl to be earning more at any point of time in their life! Or even better would be that they let society take the decision for them!


•Are there things which a son can do but daughter in law cannot?

This point is bit confusing again. There are things which a son can do, but not a daughter or daughter-in-law. The movie Pink has shown this thought excellent for women who drink are bad, but ok when son do it. Girls in relationships before or after the wedding are wrong, but guys doing that is perfectly ok. There is another aspect to this. There are things which they don’t want their son to do, but daughter or daughter-in-law is expected to do. Follow certain rituals. Learning to cook. Looking after kids!!!and many more. Please do refer to my earlier blog for this again! Either let us do everything which your son does, or let us not do anything which they are not doing. This line in between is too confusing to understand. Let things be just “black and white” and not “grey”!



To conclude : Just because I am girl, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a daughter-in-law, a mother and a mother-in-law, I don’t have to be shock absorbent, taunt absorbent, sadness and humiliation absorbent. I have my opinions and my thoughts. I have the right to know certain and do certain things. My way is the right way! Yes, I am saying the same your way is YOUR RIGHT WAY- keep it to yourself and let ME do things my way! And does doing things my way makes me a feminist? If yes, then I am happy being called a FEMINIST!