“Is love because of possessiveness or possessiveness because of love?”

Every day Lavanya and me would get up with sounds of birds fluttering in our balcony. When appa amma would be here, they would again and again open the balcony and flow them away so that we get to sleep few more hours. I used to get up, see mom dad doing that, smile and sleep back. Now that ma pa both are back to Delhi, we have got used to putting another pillow on our heads and sleep back.

A weekend started, and my sis as usual the cleanliness freak began her work, well would never do the cleaning alone, and all the members in the family present at home have to do. Unfortunately I am alone stuck as of now with her in our small one room apartment in Chennai. If it was Delhi, I would divide the rooms and scream I will do the ones allotted for me and you mind your own business and try hard shifting all my room kooda, not exactly kooda, but whatever things are not in place in my room, saying all these should be in yours.

Well not diverting, in Chennai, a fine Sunday morning, and she opens the curtains and says, uth ja shona, chal shuru ho ja. Shona only ones, next time all bad words would come out if I don’t get up. Today’s target was cleaning balcony, and balcony ka slab where the pigeon had given birth to the babies. We knew it because of the broken eggshells we saw one day on the floor. We left it because of sentiments; thinking let it grow big so that when it will fly away we will clean. It’s been long, so today was the special occasion of cleaning the balcony.

Lavanya climbs on chair and looks on the slab, again and again, then as usual, called mumma “amma kaise clean Karen?bohot hi zyada messy state me hai slab, darr lag raha hai , (because pigeons were still there)how do we do?” . As if amma appa are going to come immediately and help us do that, I wish it could happen. So now mom’s suggestion, call plumber or electrician and ask them to help. And as usual Lavanya will never do the outdoor work, and scream at me, “ ja Sharanya, and bring electrician”, badbate hue I have to go, coz I know I don’t have the option of saying a no.

We called up the electrician and cleaned everything, and left the two small pigeons alone and cleaned everything around it. By the time we had completed the cleaning activity, we were both completely exhausted and sat to take a break and mom calls again asking “ kya hua, called someone?clean kar diya?” and sis would narrate the entire story and then it strikes my mom , “you didn’t touch the pigeons na?” we were like no but why, then mom said if you would have touched it, the bigger ones will never feed it anymore or take it away!!!! Well there I am in my thoughts of this concept now! Lavi and me were like wahhh kya possessiveness hai?

Pigeons don’t allow anyone else even to touch their babies, you do and that’s it, it’s no more mine. I was taken into my own thoughts, human are no different. I thought what am I possessive about? No doubt about my family-includes only ma, pa and sis! What else? My room, my notice board at home, my friends, at least few, but the possessiveness is not so strong that I can’t share them with anyone, yes there are few.

I still remember when I was very young I was very attached to my grandma and when I got to know that she has cancer and she wouldn’t live long, I was shattered. From then ma would always teach me, you shouldn’t be so possessive about anyone or anythings that you cant live without them, yet grandma lived for almost 6 years after that and by that time, I was grown enough to understand, yet it was difficult for me.

I think I am confusing possessiveness with love. So now the question is “Is love because of possessiveness or possessiveness because of love?”

Let me analyse the case of pigeon. The pigeons wont touch their babies if the human would have done them, every mother loves the child, so is in the case of birds, but then if they love them, they shouldn’t leave them. So its love because of possessiveness because once they become some else, the possession is lost, and so is the love.

When it comes too human, I love something or some one, because I posses them, so I am being possessive about the same. So it’s the same love because of possessiveness.

But when I love something, I make sure that I get the same, and I possess them. Whether it’s books or friends, or my beanbag, so this can be said as possessiveness because of love. As I loved something, now I possess them- well I can say that’s because I am ziddi(pampered) too!!!

But as always I am still confused what to conclude? “Is love because of possessiveness or possessiveness because of love?”