It was fine morning and as usual mom didn’t allow us to study till late night as she would always want us to finish studying two days before the exams! So was this time!the borad exam of my life, god the terror that’s created at the name of board exam. I was terrified too. I slept early, but I can never get up early however early I sleep, but today was the day of terror, I couldn’t sleep. I got up early, 4th march 2003. I guess I watched cricket match between India and Pakistan the day before, and India had won, although I am not very much interested in cricket but that match was worth watching. I got up and only sound was mom working from kitchen. I got up and went straight to kitchen and hugged her, she was really scared and turned back, I said mumma mujhe neend nahi aa rahi hai!if it would have been any other day, she would have slapped me back to have scared her, but she was also equally nervous as I was or rather we were. Double danger mom had to face, both have to perform well, even one doesn’t means no happiness for our family, unlike others! It was cold day, mom made tea, and we both were sitting in out garden, talking nothing and just one thing she said “ at the most kya hoga, soch? I replied, “ I wont perform well in my exams” mind it I meant I wont perform well, as I knew I would pass because of the effort mom had put to teach us history, I was really bad at it”. And then I started cycling in my gym cycle for about half and hour to activate my sleeping mind or to control my temper.
And today after 7 years, I got up nervous and went to kitchen, mom was not there, but I could hear the flights in the sky, was wondering I once wanted to be a Air force Pilot and was wondering every child wants to be a Pilot for the fascination towards flying high in the sky, then I looked at birds, once I also wanted to have wings like birds to compete with the planes in the sky. But all I knew was I wanted to fly. Yes I am flying because of the butterflies in my stomach. A special friend had got a special tea; I made that thinking that would help to stop the butterflies from flying.
I wanted to talk to mom, but didn’t really feel like creating unnecessary tension for her, because of the distance and time that I can reach back to her was more, unlike three hours of the board exams. Well what I am going to do if I reveal, there are my colleagues in office who will laugh like the smiley we used to have on yahoo, falling and rolling on the ground (I should have made a warning statement, read the blog or talk to me about the blog when no one is around, in the beginning. lol), although most of them are aware of what I am going to do, as I kept asking them doubts time and again. I asked doubts about the discussion and things for today, whoever came on my way as I was taught during my MBA, ask what you want to know. I wanted to know a lot, I wanted a source of information to tell me what I am supposed to do next. I went back to that same question of mom “ at the most kya hoga?” I imagined the disasters that can happen with me, no phone works, the V-Con doesn’t work, no one turns up (I wish that happens, which wont), over all I can say a nightmare like the one I had in morning and got up with a shock. I was told whatever you do, do your homework, in my post graduation, I have done my homework, but the issue is with the people, would they have remembered to do their homework????? At the most kya hoga, I again asked myself, and I got the answer. I smiled, chal hone de disaster, I will do the head on collision with it, because even if that’s gonna happen I will be happy, because that’s the way god took out for me for the thing I couldn’t decide on my own for so long. Now guess what that “At the most thing ,could be on which I smiled?”
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